Branded in the 80s!

The Podcasts



Apparently I really started perking up and paying attention to the new fall schedule sometime in 1982 because this is the first issue of TV Guide that I've flipped through where I recognize and remember watching most of the shows previewed.  I guess it kind of makes sense in a strange way.  I just turned five, started kindergarten, and was probably very aware of my nightly impending bedtime, and thus was more prone to arguing so that I could stay up and, I don't know, watch Knight Rider or something.  '82 was also the year that I missed out on a ton of Saturday morning cartoon time as my Dad decided that it would be good for me to get outside and meet new kids, so he enrolled me in the local soccer league (which he co-coached.)

    

When I first starting taking a close look at these TV guides I was figuring that there'd be a ton of crazy ads with way out of date prices (either insanely expensive appliances or insanely cheap food items), but for the most part everything has been about the same as it is now (at least for what would qualify for the equivalent by today's standards.)  That VCR above though is exactly what I was hoping to see.  Granted the video revolution was still in its infancy and no where near the peak it would reach in the mid 90s, but seriously, was $600 ever a good 'on-sale' price for a piece of hardware like a VCR?  It was normally $900.  In 1982 dollars!  I think that's like 1/10th what my parents paid for their Mazda 626 around that time.  I mean, doing the whole automobile divided by electronics equation for today's standard, well, I think…  Wait, no, I think that computes (scratching my head and doing the little calculator mine in the air)…  Yup, I guess you could evenly divide about 10 decent sized HD TVs into one Volkswagen Rabbit.  Damn!  Still though, I can't bring myself to buy an HD TV so I guess if I were in my parents shoes back in '82 I also would have waited until about 1987 to get our first VCR as well.  Going by those theoretical calculations, I should be joining the HD movement sometime in the next decade or so.

I was glad there was a different Vivran ad in this issue as well.  It makes a nice sister ad to the one I posted a few weeks ago.  The main difference is the hilarity.  I know when I screw up at work because I'm too tired to count money, I want my boss to give me the equivalent of a low level legal narcotic to keep me going (okay Vivran isn't really anything near a narcotic, but take enough of them and I'm sure it'll feel a lot like taking some speed.)  Besides, the ad makes me laugh when I shift the situation in my head to another profession, like a rough and tumble news helicopter pilot ("I destroyed three News11 copters and killed 2 traffic correspondents before my dispatcher gave me some little yellow pills that kept me in the air and flying for hours…") or a daycare worker ("I wiped twenty kids runny noses with the same tissue before I realized that the first kid had the chicken pox.  Thank god my supervisor had some Vivran Stimulant Tablets handy because it was my turn to walk the kids to the bus today…")

    

Like I mentioned above, in getting to the show previews in this issue I'm finally feeling a little like I’m on more recognizable ground.  Take that first 2-page spread featuring Joanie Love Chachi, the 9 to 5 sitcom spin-off, TJ Hooker and Cagney and Lacey.  Though I haven't watched many episodes of any of these shows (with the possible exception of TJ Hooker which I have some garbled, yet vivid memories of), I've been well aware of them all since they debuted.  I guess my threshold for remembering pop culture starts at 5 years-old.

I guess this is also the beginning of a comfortable time-frame in which these actors and actresses would go on to stay (more of less) in the public eye.  I mean TJ Hooker is Heather Locklear's beginning of a very long love affair with network television as she'd go on to star in no less than 4 more long running shows (yeah, I'm including LAX as it went to a partial season run, but c'mon, Melrose Place, Spin City and Dynasty all in one career?)  Heck, while I'm at it I might as well point to Shatner as well.  This would be his second big hurrah after Star Trek. I wish I could say the same thing for Adrian Zmed, but this was more of his last hurrah after his turns in Bachelor Party and Grease 2.  He sure does encompass that early 80s hunk look very well (not to mention giving Locklear's feathered hair a run for it’s money.)  There's also Scott Baio in his post Happy Days, yet pre-Charles in Charge glory with Joanie Loves Chachi (which I'm all of a sudden dying to see after taking a gander at the opening credits, shudder.)

Of course, then there's Silver Spoons, my hands down favorite 80's kid-centric sitcom (with Punky Brewster and Diff'rent Strokes coming in at a tie in second place.)  If there was one person I wanted to be like growing up it was Rickey Schroder, and if I could have two wishes I would have wanted his house.  Rickey was basically a live action version of Richie Rich, though he was a little more frugal (having come from a slightly broken home.)  Looking back though I think I was more influenced by Joel Higgins' performance as Edward Stratton III, who suffered from the worst case of arrested development ever.  That's who I basically am these days, though without the family fortune (inherited from a grandfather who invented the inner tube.)  Add to this the awesome Erin Grey (I never made the Buck Rogers connection as a kid oddly enough), and great guest stars like Jason Bateman and Alfonzo Riberio and you had the perfect kid sitcom.

I was surprised to see Rock Hudson in the Devlin Connection preview, as I didn't realize he was still acting at this point.  I heard his name bandied about by my parents a lot when I was young, but I've never really gotten a chance to watch any of his movies, so he's sort of a name without a face to me.  There's also a preview for Ripley's Believe It or Not, which the perennially scary Jack Palance lent his presence and amazing voice to.  Rounding out the group above is a preview for the show Voyagers!, which I had never heard of.  From what I gather after watching the intro, it's basically the same type of show as Quantum Leap, only with an adventurer and a kid sidekick righting historical wrongs throughout all of history.  It's weird that I missed it though, because it looks like a show that would be right up my alley, and I see that it's on DVD, so I might have to check out and see if Netflix carries it.

    

If you remember back a few posts ago I made a little fuss over another preview, which starred Pricilla Presley, Burgess Meredith and a Chimp (which actually turned out not to be a fictional show, but rather an animal variety show.)  Well, if only I'd waited a little bit I'd have seen that Burgess Meredith took another whack at a sitcom starring along side a bunch of animals (and Sally Struthers, who is actually the true star of the show), and even though it's no Every Which Way but Loose spin-off (instead it was an All in the Family spin-off), I'm sure it was still enjoyable.

We also get a preview of a show that really seemed to hit the 80s on the head, at least fashion wise (like the Zmed), Square Pegs.  Like Locklear, it was the beginning of a long career in television and film for Sarah Jessica Parker, and coincidentally was just released on DVD this past week.

As a side note, has anyone ever seen a more sexually suggestive design for a television special ad than that one starring Sylvester Stallone ever?  Holy crap, he's starring as his own penis in that mock up.  Weird.

    

There's an interesting little ad for Madame's Place, a show with a puppet that I have a hard time keeping separate from that crazy Genesis (or was it Phil Collins solo) video with all the weird looking puppets.  Here's a bit of Madame from youtube.  I guess this was Corey Feldman's shot at stardom between the Bad News Bears sitcom and flicks like the Goonies.  Always glad to see one of the Coreys pop up.

On the page opposite the Madame ad, there is an interesting advert for a science special hosted by Peter Graves and presented by the fine folks at Atari.

Probably the weirdest ad I've seen so far in any of these TV Guides was the small one above called Beefeaters Delight!  From what I can gather the ad is for entire sides of hanging beef at amazing prices, but what I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around is the idea that it's being presented to the general public instead of in another more industry-centric fashion.  I mean, I realize there are a ton of hunters out there that kill, keep and eat entire deer carcasses, but seriously, who invests in an entire half cow?  I mean, that's why we have supermarkets right?  I do have to say that the insert advertising 5lbs of hotdogs or Bacon for $.99 a pound is mighty tempting.  I wonder what that would work out to in 2008 dollars?

Again, because the majority of these TV Guides came out of the Los Angeles area there is a smattering of ads for the Z Channel (as well as the listings in the guide itself.)  I thought I'd take a second to point to the wonderful documentary on Z channel again, as well as the trailer for the doc…

There was also an ad for the Miss Piggy Show special that aired in '82.  Here's a clip via youtube

    

Unfortunately there weren't as many Saturday Morning Cartoon ads in this issue, just the one above (which is almost identical to the version that ran in comic books at the time.)  As I mentioned above, I think I was being forced to 'take a break' from SMC's at the time to play soccer on the weekends (the strongest piece of evidence is that besides the Looney Tunes I don't recognize any of the shows in the above ad, and I'm only partially familiar with the line-up in the '82 ABC ad as well, never having seen the Mork & Mindy, Laverne & Shirley, or Little Rascals cartoons.)  The Meatballs & Spaghetti cartoon looks pretty weird and is both a little bit of a holdover from the 70s family as a traveling band sort of show, as well as being kind of progressive in terms of the MTV generation and coming before shows like Kidd Video or that Wolfman Jack cartoon.  It wasn't until recently that I discovered all of the very odd sitcom to cartoon spin-offs of the late 70s and early 80s like the Gilligan's Planet cartoon (or the Mork and Mindy/Laverne and Shirley cartoons mentioned above), which featured out favorite castaways building a spaceship and landing on a distant planet, again getting lost/stuck.  I was also surprised by the Pandamonium cartoon, which has a very odd mixture of anthropomorphized animal comedy and action (in the main characters battles with Montragor master of evil.)

Aside from the shows I am familiar with in this issue (like St. Elsewhere above), there are also a bunch that caught my eye, if only because of the actors involved, but like Voyagers! above, some of the plots seem right up my alley as well.  Take for instance the preview for Bring 'em Back Alive, which is an adventure show based on the life of Frank Buck a 30s era animal collector/adventurer starring Bruce Boxleitner (of Tron, Scarecrow & Mrs. King, and Babylon 5 fame.)  Apparently the studio was looking to cash in on the success of Indiana Jones pitting the Buck character against Nazis and junk (not to mention adapting a 30s era adventurer.)  Awesome!  (Here's the intro via youtube.)  Similarly there was another IJ cash-in with Tales of the Gold Monkey starring Stephen Collins as Jake Cutter, a cargo pilot and all around Harrison Ford wannabe (here's the intro.)

There were also some shows that weren't quite up my alley, at least not at the time, like Gavilan (starring Robert Urich post Vega$ and pre Spenser for Hire), or the weird TV spin-off of the 7 Brides for 7 Brothers play and film starring MacGyver himself, Richard Dean Anderson, as well as Peter Horton (who would become a household name in my family later on for his turn on 30 Something), and a young, cute-as-a-button River Phoenix.

Speaking of household names, probably my mother's favorite show of the 80s was St. Elsewhere. Between having a stellar cast (including Howie Mandel, Ed Beagley Jr., Denzel Washington, David Morse, Mark Harmon, G.W. Bailey, Stephen Furst, Ronny Cox, Helen Hunt, and William Daniels just to name a few) and the intense plot lines (Mark Harmon's character contracting AIDS was our family's 'who shot JR'), it quickly became a must watch series.

    

Joining Silver spoons and St. Elsewhere were another couple of family favorites, Family Ties and Cheers (though I saw more episodes of Cheers in syndication later on as I think it was on past my bedtime.)  Next to the Cosby Show, I think Family Ties was the biggest show for me in the 80s and Michael J. Fox is certainly up there as one of my favorite actors from my youth.  If I wanted to be Rickey Schroeder, than I wanted to be best friends with Fox.

I thought it was pretty weird seeing Michael Dudikoff in the Star of the Family preview.  I have a hard time not thinking of him as a second rate action star as I watched the American Ninja films religiously.  It's weird when he pops up in comedies like the above sitcom or Bachelor Party (hmm, another connection to the Zmed.)  Same goes for Ron Glass, who stars as Felix in the fourth incarnation of the Odd Couple (after the play, film, and first sitcom.)  I have to admit that I'm more familiar with Glass from his turn as Reverend Book in Firefly than his time on Barney Miller.

We also have the second attempt to launch the Powers of Matthew Star show.  Apparently Peter Barton had a pyrotechnics accident the year prior which caused the fledgling show to shut down while he recovered.  I wonder if this was the show that helped to typecast Louis Gosset Jr. as the grizzled older mentor character, which he would go on to play throughout his career (in films like Iron Eagle or the Punisher?)

  

1982 also saw the introduction of a show that I've always considered as one part of a trio of action shows that feature a vehicle as the main focal point (and to an extent character) of the series, Knight Rider.  The other two are Airwolf (doing for helicopters what Knight Rider did for Trans Ams) and Street Hawk (ditto for motorcycles.)  I watched the living heck out of KR growing up.  I had the electronic toy and action figure set and would endlessly debate the episodes with friends well into high school.  In the context of this TV Guide Fall Preview issue, it really does seem like 1982 was a stellar year for William Daniels (with this and St. Elsewhere beginning; 2 long running shows.)  I still can't believe that the show is being reconceived for modern audiences though (I missed the pilot movie, and from what I hear thankfully.)

Well, I didn't get this up last week like I'd hoped, but I do plan on doubling up this week.  There's a possibility that I might get to the 1979 issue (as I finally found a cheap copy on eBay), but I might just plow on ahead to 1983.  We shall see.
Category: 80s TV Guide Fall Preview Issues -- posted at: 3:45 PM
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I'm back this week with the fourth installment of this series on vintage TV Guide fall Preview issues.  As I've explained in the previous posts, though I generally talk mostly about the 80s, I have a weird preoccupation with the Quantum Leap time travel theory, so I decided to include the '77-79 issues as well.  So this week we're going to take a look at the highlights from 1978.  By the time this issue hit newsstands and grocery store checkout lanes I think my parents had just moved into a house in Austin and were ready to stop referring to my age in months.  I'm sure I was still completely unaware of TV in general, probably spending more time on trying to grasp, walk and understand one-syllable words, you know all the basic fundamentals for an enjoyable TV watching experience…

    

As has been the case, the first chuck of the TV Guide is mostly ads, like the obligatory Toyota one above.  What I found interesting in this issue was the sort of sloppy, left-field-ness of the ads.  Take for instance the Anacin ad opposite the Corolla one.  Where is the word Anacin?  In the small print.  Weird.  You'd think it'd be in big block letters over that disturbingly moster/robot looking 'medical' pain diagram.  Heck, you'd think there'd at least be a picture of the pill bottle down at the bottom.  The other ad that really got to me was the one for Vantage cigarettes on the next page featuring a very Photoshop filtered looking image of a one Vince Dougherty (who looks like the lovechild of Kevin Nealon and Tom Snyder.)  I guess this got to me because I'll be honest, I can't figure out who the guy is and why he's telling me all about Vantage giving him the good taste and low tar he desires.  After googling him I came up with a Vince Dougherty that is a member of the Pennsylvania government (which corroborates the ad location), but makes me wonder if he was paid off by the tobacco company to back their brand.  Again, weird, especially set against the article on the new fall lineup of cartoons and children's programming on the facing page.

Back on a more normal level is the great Zenith System 3 television ad up next.  Why doesn't anyone make a TV that feels like a piece of furniture anymore?  That's the kind of setup that can really tie a room together (design and flow-wise.)

One awesome aspect to flipping through these old TV Guides is seeing all of the shows that either didn't make it very long or featured familiar stars on the rise.  The preview for Apple Pie stuck out for me because it starred Dabney Coleman (who I fell in love with after repeatedly watching him help out Henry Thomas as a secret agent in Cloak and Dagger, and terrorize Dolly Parton, Lilly Tomlin, and Jane Fonda in 9 to 5 as a kid), but it wasn't until I took a closer look that I realized the lady in the picture is Rue McClanahan from the Golden Girls.  I'm so used to seeing her a little older that I totally didn't recognize her.

    

It was also pretty cool to see Pricilla Barnes in the Preview for The American Girls making her first big jump from guest starring on a bunch of shows to starring in one of her own (that is before she replaced Suzanne Somers on Three's Company.)  She was one of those actors that I never really put a name to the face until I saw her in Mallrats (playing the topless fortune teller with three nipples) and then in her very disturbing turn in Rob Zombie's the Devil's Rejects (probably the most uncomfortable I've ever felt watching an actress on screen ever.)

Also, I'd like to reiterate just how much I love illustrations in ads, even airbrushed work like in the Right Guard advertisement above.  I wonder where the artwork for that piece is right now?  Probably in a landfill or something, which I think is a shame because it would make a nice piece of pop art.

Up next we've got a preview for a show that I've surprisingly never seen, the original Battlestar Galactica.  Of course it's making a resurgence these days, what with the uber popular reinvisioning that all of the geeks are aflutter about (and yet another show I haven't seen.)  Coming on the heels of the Star Wars explosion, the show (much like Buck Rogers) seemed like it was reaching for something it couldn't quite provide yet (at least not on a TV budget.)  I'm honestly surprised at myself for never taking the time to watch the show as I'm really into 70s sci-fi and Dirk Benedict.  My only real connection to BG were the toys that I saw floating around in the various comic book shops I frequented in the late 80s.  It's also the second time I've thought about Lorne Greene this week after reading about an awesome Bonanza View Master reel that he helped to goof up for the kids back in the day (in an article written by Brian Heiler of Plaid Stallions.)

At first blush I was going to pass up scanning the preview for Mary, but after reading the description I was intrigued.  It wasn't the toned-down, sketch-comedy approach Mary Tyler Moore was going to take at a variety show, but the cast she had lined up to help her out.  Along with some names I don't immediately recognize are Swoozie Kurtz, David Letterman, and Michael Keaton.  Really!?!  I'm dying to see this now as I've always wondered where Michael Keaton learned to hone his genius comic timing.  I didn't think he did stand-up (though you never know), and this would go a long way to explaining it.

Again, as I've mentioned before, I love these old TV Guides because of the wealth of Saturday Morning Cartoon ads they have crammed in them.  Above is the '78 ABC line-up featuring the debut of the Laff-A-Lympics, Challenge of the Superfriends, and Fangface.  Below is a really nice CBS ad featuring some cartoons I've never heard of like Web Woman, Micro Woman and Superstretch (though I have a sneaking suspicion that they're all part of the Space Sentinels cartoon.)  There's also Jason of Star Command, another 70s sci-fi show I've yet to see (but I'm actually excited about as it's a spin-off of Space Academy, which seems 10 times more action packed not to mention starring the one and only Sid Haig, also of Devil's Rejects fame.)

    

Rounding out the cartoon ads is the novel approach by NBC, which made advertising into a board game for the kids.  It's probably the worst board game in the history of the format, but nonetheless it's still interesting.  I've always been curious about the Godzilla cartoon, as it seems like such an odd character for a cartoon series (on the other hand, live action with a man in a suit is no problem.)  Same goes for the Fantastic Four cartoon, which eschewed Johnny Storm in favor of a robot sidekick.

The spot illustration on Us Against the World II is kind of cool if only because it's a prime example of the quick ad drawings done by Jack Davis in the 70s.  From the stories I've read, he'd whip out stuff like this in minutes all day long, getting the work of practically an entire agency's staff done in a day.

Now if there was one show that my parents never missed it was 20/20.  Growing up this was the one show that my parents never argued over, and it always signaled my bedtime as it tended to come on later in the evening during the 80s.  It also signaled the end of a lot of boyhood debauchery and fun as they always seemed to be right on top of the latest dangerous fads, dishing out the possible consequences to my parents before I even had a chance to try and convince them I was capable of handing what ever it was.  I can vividly remember agonizing over asking my parents for some nunchucks and a couple of Chinese throwing stars, and then completely dropping the idea when I walked in on them watching an expose on the dangers of these exact things.  I also never realized that Carl Sagan was a correspondent in its original incarnation.  I wonder if he and Geraldo ever did any stories together, like unlocking the hidden secrets of the universe (only to find a lot of concrete and nothing much of interest…)

    

This issue also contains the premiere and preview of Mork & Mindy (which has been finally getting more DVDs released) and Taxi, as well as the preview of WKRP in Cincinnati.  This reminds me of the review I did this time last year for the truncated WKRP DVD set that came out.  Though I still enjoyed getting a chance to watch the first season, I still wonder what it was like to watch it first run getting all of the original music, and in turn understanding some of the jokes a little more.

Walking right in step with the rest of the weird advertising in this issue is an ad for the Sunbeam Coney Island Steamer (being hawked by none other than Shirley Jones.)  Honestly, I'm not sure if I can think of a more useless and depressing appliance than a hotdog steamer, which only cooks 1-2 hotdogs at a time.  Talk about wasting precious counter space in the kitchen.  I'm going to have to side with Alton Brown when it comes to appliances like this; if you can't use it for ten other things, ditch it.

    

I'm pretty much unfamiliar with the rest of the previewed shows in this issue, though I recognize a lot of the stars (like Connie Sellecca, who would go on to star in the Greatest American Hero, or Scott Baio taking a break in between Happy Days and Joni Love Chachi.)  Coming off of his guest starring role in Soap yet before he was Spenser for Hire, Robert Urich was Det. Dan Tanna in Vega$, and after becoming a football legend Joe Namath tried his hand at acting in the Waverly Wonders.  All in all this was a really fun issue to peruse.

I'll be back next week with the 1982 issue (I still haven't found a copy of the '79 issue that isn't insanely priced on eBay.)

Category: 80s TV Guide Fall Preview Issues -- posted at: 3:24 PM
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Well, I finally got around to throwing a banner together for these TV Guide posts.  Makes it seem more official I guess.  Anyway, I was planning on getting to the 1982 Fall Preview issue, but I received the '77 and '78 editions in the mail this week, so I think I'll go ahead and get to them first.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I sort of have this odd Quantum Leap-centric idea about the time period I want to cover on this site (nostalgia and ephemera-wise that is.)  I like the idea of covering stuff that has taken place over my own lifetime, much in the way Sam could only leap (time travel for all those non-initiated Quantum Leapers out there) throughout the timeline of his own life.  Honestly, I think this was a coy way that the writers could keep the show relevant for the viewing audience's experiences, straying away from the idea of leaping into medieval or prehistoric times for instance.  It provides a bit of grounding I guess.  Anyway, it worked well for that show, and I think it'll do for me as well.

So with that in mind, I present the highlights from the 1977 TV Guide Fall Preview issue.  Again, the first thing I noticed about this issue (like the 1980 issue) is that the digest itself was folded and stapled instead of being perfect bound like a book.  This makes for very difficult scanning; well difficult while trying not to destroy the issue as well as trying to keep relevant pages together.

    

Also, as I've been noticing with these older issues of the Guide, most of the advertising is set aside for cigarettes and booze, but there are a few other odds and ends that are interesting.  I didn't realize that there was a deluxe version of Kraft Mac & Cheese available in the 70s.  Mainly I subsisted on ramen during my college days, but every once in awhile as a treat I'd pick up the deluxe Mac & Cheese dinner (in particular the one with bacon bits included, you know to simulate eating something a little more substantial.)  At first glance I thought the plated dinner in the ad looked a little weird with the two strips of bacon and the paltry makings of a BLT on the side of the plate, but right now it actually sounds pretty good.  I do have to say that it throws off the illusion of a quick and easy dinner though; I mean if you're going to fry up some bacon and slice a tomato, why not go ahead and cook?

I also dug the heck out of the Quaker Oats cookies ad.  First off I really love spot illustrations in ad work, especially when it's quality like this (are those watercolors?)  But I also love it when the company mascot is front and center without just using the familiar iconographic image (like the Quaker man on the boxes in the coupon.)  It's kind of interesting (and a little weird maybe) to see Quaker man fishing with some kid and his dog while enjoying a picnic of cookies and what I can only hope is milk in that thermos.  It's kind of nice to think that Quaker man enjoys relaxing in his off time with hobbies like this, though I think in this modern world it's a little creepy that he's off alone with a strange kid.  Heck, maybe it's his nephew or grandson, but then for continuity's sake I'd like to see the kid in a Quaker outfit as well.  Also, who developed the crosshatching pattern for peanut butter cookies anyway?  My mom always stuck to this tradition when baking them for our family when I was younger.

The Toyota Celica ad is kind of cool too.  I like that the designers were trying to ape the look and feel of a Mustang with the liftback version of the Celica.  Making them feel a little more American I guess.  Did you realize that car is 'hot'?  On the other hand we have what I believe to be one of the most annoying ads I've seen in a long time (barring TV and radio that is) for the Vivatar 603 pocket camera.  I get that the ad guys were trying to visually put a spin on the idea of other brands offering only 'half a camera' because the new Vivatar offers a build in flash, but because they cut the ad in half and shuffled with around like that on the page it's just annoying to read.

    

As far as the previews go for 1977, there sure are some whoppers as well as some weird ones.  Above we have a preview for a show called Operation Petticoat (based on a movie of the same name) starring John Astin and Jamie Lee Curtis.  I think it's kind of weird to have a sitcom set aboard the claustrophobic confines of a submarine (in particular with the main crux of the story surrounding the sexual tension of the crew vs. a bunch of military nurses that they are transporting.)  After doing a little research though it looks like this was truly a vehicle for John Astin as he directed the first few episodes as well as starred as the sub's captain.  I'm not sure how well the show did though as it only lasted for a season and a half, not to mention that Astin and Curtis jumped ship after the first season.

'77 was a very nautical year as the Love Boat also launched from port.  Growing up there were two shows that it seemed like my sister never missed, Love Boat and Fantasy Island, so I caught my fare share of episodes while hanging out with her.  Looking back, the concept of the show was just marketing genius.  Having the majority of the stories surrounding the plethora of guest stars that came aboard each show is almost a way of having sweeps episodes year round.  I wish the studios weren't being so stingy with the DVDs that finally came out this year though (only releasing half a season of a 31 year-old show and charging full season rates is absolutely piratanical I tells ya.)

The TV set in the ad adjacent to the Love Boat preview looks a hell of a lot like the TV my family had until I turned sixteen.  Same faux-wood box, and channel tuners.  I wonder if TVs are being built that can last 16 years like these old monsters did?  I doubt it.

I absolutely love the Camel ad in this issue.  It screams action, adventure, and maybe a little James Bond, though only if an actor that looked like a cross between Tom Selleck and Patrick Duffy played Bond.  I'm as interested as that bikini-clad assistant and the bearded seaman in what Camel man has found in the depths of the sea!  I am seriously considering picking up smoking now…

With these older TV guides I've certainly hit the Saturday Morning cartoon ad jackpot as all three major networks make a showing.  Above we have the line-ups for NBC and CBS including shows like The Adventures of Muhammad Ali, the New Archies and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Space Academy.  I really dig the illustration done for the Space Academy show as it makes it seem ten thousand times more thrilling and action packed than the actual Filmation show was.  It is kind of odd that the CBS ad is a truncated version of the ad they ran in comic books at the time (which you can see here in this post I did awhile back), and it really shows in how poorly it was translated to the digest size format of the TV Guide.  It's also sort of weird because the times the shows are listed to air are different.  It raises a question about whether comic book printings used to feature regional ads or if this was just a mistake.  I can see the line-ups jumbling around from city to city, so the different TV Guides might have slightly different ads, but I always figured comic books were distributed country wide with the same ads.  Anyone out there know?

    

Rounding out the cartoon ads is this beauty from ABC featuring one of my all time favorite shows, the Hanna Barbera Laff-A-Lympics.  I never seemed to catch this show at home when it aired in re-runs, but I swear, every single time my family was out of town or on the road it seemed like the only cartoon that I'd find on TV in the various motels we'd stay at.  It brings back a lot of fond memories of waking up to the show, and then off to the complimentary Ho-Jo's continental breakfast.  I could so go for some plain scrambled eggs, bacon, and corn flakes while watching Blue Falcon and Dynomutt face off against Yogi Bear and Quick Draw McGraw in a battle of river rafting right about now.  Also, I totally missed out on everything Kroft while growing up and I am dying to see the adventures of Bigfoot and Wildboy…

One of the best parts in picking up these old TV Guides is getting a feel for what a week in the life of a 1977 TV viewer was like.  I get a little of this watching shows like Freaks and Geeks (hearing Sam, Bill, and Eli pontificate on catching the latest Three's Company, Welcome Back Kotter, and Bionic Woman episodes), but it's really neat to see it for myself in an artifact like this.  Again, I put out a plea to studios everywhere, get over your stupid money grubbing rights issues and put some of these shows out on DVD!  I need to see Jamie Sommers and her bionic dog fight crime.  At least they finally started releasing decent sets of shows like Welcome Back Kotter (instead of the pointless 4-episode best of discs.)  The following page is just as exciting as the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew face off against Dracula, the Wolfman and Frankenstein, while later on in the evening the Bionic Man is captured by Killer Sharks!  You never see stuff like this anymore.  When was the last time Meredith was captured by sharks on Grey's Anatomy?  When was the last time a bionic dog was introduced into a show's cast?  Makes me miss shows like Buffy as it was about the closest we got to stuff like this…

There was also an ad for an odd show called Lucan about a boy raised by wolves.  At first blush I figured this was a werewolf show, but I think it's more of a raised by animals deal.  I guess they should have thought twice before using the dripping blood font which just confused and unnecessarily excited me.


    

I thought it was interesting that the editors at TV Guide were keen on getting feedback from viewers in the premiere of CHiPs, going so far as to provide a little mail in coupon.  I wonder why this show and not all of them?  Were they being paid by NBC to facilitate it?  Well if I could have at the time, I so would have written "Heck Yeah!" on the back and sent it in.  I talked about my love for this show when I shared my set of CHiPs sticker cards a while back.  I can’t wait to pick up the second season

I was surprised to see an ad for the network premiere of the Making of Star Wars so soon after it hit theaters.  I'd have to say that for once, a crazy claim on an ad has actually stood the test of time as well.  I'd be willing to wager that Star Wars still holds the title as the most popular movie of all time.  I also thought it was cool to see an ad for the season opener of Wonder Woman which boasts the jump in time from the 40s to a modern setting.  I watched my fare share of this show in re-runs growing up and it never dawned on me that it was originally set during WWII.  Shows how on-the-ball I was as a kid.  Oh and lets all make sure not to miss the Muppet show (I really liked that the original owner of this issue circled all the shows they wanted to make sure not to miss.)

Much like my infatuation with the Rodeo Girl TV movie from the last post I made, I am now equally as intrigued by the disturbing ad for Curse of the Black Widow.  I am so speechless.  A spider-woman with huge boobs and creepy human appendages!  Wow!  I bet it has nothing to do with gigantic female spiders, but if it does, please somebody get me a copy of this film…

There's also another, much better though just as small, ad for Sha-Na-Na in this issue.  Again, what was the draw of 50s nostalgia during the 70s and 80s?  I guess it's no different than my current 80s obsession.  Also, on the facing page, what’s up with that weirdly sincere cigarette ad that's playing off of a cover of the Saturday Evening Post?

    

There were a lot of cool shows starting up in 1977, but the one I've probably watched the most of over the years is Soap.  My mom introduced me to this sitcom when we'd both stay up late on the weekends during the late 80s and 90s watching Soap in syndication.  I was hooked on all of the spoofy storylines and loved seeing all the actors who I knew from their later work in this earlier hilarious show.  I'm pretty sure I even watched its spin-off, Benson, before I realized that this show existed.

 

Last but not least we have a couple of previews for some more sci-fi oriented shows that debuted in '77, The Man From Atlantis and the TV version of Logan's Run.  Though I doubt it's as cool as I'm making it out in my head, I would really like to see TMFA as I've always been curious about the idea of a live action version of either Namor or Aquaman (though I'm completely un-interested in the pilot to the show that they tried to pawn off on us last year.)  Before Dallas and Step By Step, Patrick Duffy sported webbed hands and feet in four TV movies and finally this show, battling mad scientists and criminals.  Who'd of thunk it.  Also, on a totally unrelated note, I just realized that all of the preview pictures in this issue have a spotlight shining on the stars.  Nice design touch TV Guide...

Next week I'll be back, most assuredly with the '78 issue of the TV Guide Fall Preview…

Category: 80s TV Guide Fall Preview Issues -- posted at: 10:35 AM
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I guess if I'm going to do a 10+ week series of these TV Guide Fall Preview issues from the 80s, I'm gonna have to slap together some sort of banner.  Feels weird staring off a post all wordy like this.  Anyhoo.

*Update*  As you can see the banner is done.

I was thinking again about the dates on the lot of vintage issues I picked up a while ago, and like most wonderings I have concerning stuff on the site, I always seems to come back to that time travel concept from Quantum Leap where Sam can only leap around in his own timeline.  Last week for instance, I didn't have a whole lot of specific memories about the shows (or whatnot) in the preview issue because I was only four years-old at the time, spending most of my waking hours in front of cartoons or Tonka trucks.  But I kept thinking about it and I decided that this series of posts wouldn't feel complete until I found the issues from '77-'80, so I jumped on eBay and picked up a cheap copy of the 1980 Fall Preview issue, (and am currently bidding on the others I'll need.)

This first thing that jumped out at me when I received this issue in the mail, was that it had different binding that the rest of the issues I have (and am used to.)  Instead of being perfect-bound with glue, it's folded and stapled like a comic book, except it's like 3 million pages long so I have no idea how these things ended up staying so neatly folded.  If nothing else, it made the job of scanning in pages without destroying the copy very difficult, and in some places the images are a little blurry on the sides where the magazine wasn't pressed up close enough to the glass on the scanner.

    

For some reason the 2-page Marlboro spread on the inside front cover made me laugh a little.  I guess it's because that cowpoke is carrying an entire carton of cigarettes. I guess he just hit the local smoke-n-feed store while riding.  I also noticed that his belt buckle has a nice picture of a Midwest vista on it.  I bet the other cowboys are jealous.  Actually, this reminds me of another weird aspect to these old TV Guides, they're practically packed with only ads for cigarettes and booze.  Not being a smoker myself (or really a drinker for that matter), it's kind of weird to see so much advertising space taken up by tobacco and liquor companies.  I guess it says something about the Guide's target audience as well.

On the other hand, there are a couple of ads that I'm all about.  Take that Vivarin ad above.  I remember my mom used to eat Vivarin like candy, and when I got into middle school she used to cut one in half most mornings and give it to me with my breakfast to wake me up.  I was one of those foot-draggers when it came to getting up for school.  If I didn't have my little yellow pill, a bowl of hot soup and an episode of Woody Woodpecker or the Little Rascals playing in the background there was no way I was going to get up.  I had to stop taking these in college when I found myself working 50 hours a week (nights), while trying to take three classes in the mornings on weekdays.  I was up to two Vivarin and a 24 oz. Mountain Dew each morning, which was just way too much caffeine for my system.  Thank god it's not habit-forming…

That Toyota ad also cracked me up a little.  When are advertising agencies not extolling the virtues of 'more room for leggy drivers', and percentage benefits for new aerodynamic stylings?  Heck by now you'd think we'd be driving the equivalent of the spaceship from Flight of the Navigator.  Come to think of it, I could so use a roving mechanical eye on a hydraulic arm with the voice of Pee Wee Herman helping me to drive my car.  Who needs GPS when you have that handy?

There's also an interesting bit on the actor's strike of 1980 that feels totally relevant to the writer's strike we just went through (and possible actor's strike approaching.)  Even though they couldn't print concrete premier dates, TV Guide still had the chutzpah to run with the preview issue.  It's very 1930s newpapermenly of them. 

Last up in these first five scans we also have a K-Mart ad for one heck of a crazy audio set-up.  It's a five-in-one system with a stereo, turn table, dual cassette decks, 8-Track player, and even comes with two microphones, speakers and a nice looking set of headphones.  Crazy.  I think I could actually use something like this now, well if it had a usb port that is.  It's make for one heck of a podcasting unit with built in vintage vintage audio media capabilities.

    

Above we have five of the new shows premiering in 1980 including a television adaptation of the film Breaking Away, Hill Street Blues (another 80s staple that I have never seen a single episode of), a drama starring Lorenzo Lamas & Linda Hamilton (which is advertised for those who love soap operas but are sick of Dallas), a goofy looking buddy cop show starring Hector Elizondo, and a show that had me terribly excited until I realized that it was a non-fiction animal expose show.  I mean c'mon, look at that picture!  Priscilla Presley, Burgess Meredith and a chimp?  Why wasn't this the TV adaptation of Every Which Way but Loose (Burgess can so pulled off a wizened old Clint Eastwood)?

    

On of the aspects to these older TV Guides that I've really fallen for is all of the illustration work in the advertising.  This is something that I've taken for granted for years and it's been only recently that I've really started to miss this type of practice.  The fringes of pop culture, in particular advertising, is always going to shift with technology towards the fastest, flashiest way of getting people to notice their products which means ditching illustration work for more Photoshoped or CGI fare.  It just looks more modern which is what people tend to respond to.  In particular I noticed this trend recently when General Mills reused some vintage packaging on Honey Nut Cheerios and Lucky Charms.  The characters looked so much more appealing to me at first blush, and I think a lot of that has to do with them not looking so slick.

Anyway, a lot of the interior advertising in this TV Guide (be it the more random products or the show adverts) features illustration work that I'm really digging.  For instance the Kraft ad above that has artwork that looks like it was ripped from the pages of Highlights magazine.  On a side note, I distinctly remember my mother trying to hook me on veggies with some sort of sour cream based dip for after school snacks (doing her best to wean me off of Chef Boyardee or a bowl full of Cheez-Its), and now that I think back on it I'm kind of glad I didn't go that route.  One serving of that dip above probably had half of the daily recommended fat, 90% of which is saturated, which would turn eating veggies into the equivalent of eating large hunks of cheese wrapped in bacon and deep-fried.

There's also a nice piece of advertising from the network premiere of Foul Play (with a little more Burgess Meredith), as well as a small advert for an episode of That's Incredible, a show I remember watching all the time, though I don't have an specific memories of episodes.  Next up there's a small ad from the show Kids are People Too featuring the young Jodie Foster and Matt Dillion.  I don't remember this show, but I'm curious.  I suppose it was like a daytime talk show aimed at teenagers?

Last in this set is a horribly misleading ad for the ultimate in sweat suit technology, the Second Skin, the space age slenderizer.  The ad boasts the loss of five pounds in as many minutes, and getting rid of five inches from your unsightly waist in as many hours.  The basic premise is like having a self-contained sauna in a metallic looking rubber body suit.  I'm sad to say that I witnessed the use of one of these suits first hand.  My father was always on the heavy side while I was growing up, and he was always trying to do his best exercise-wise.  He'd jog and hike, but he never seemed to loose any weight and at one point he invested in some variation of one of these suits.  I remember he'd go out jogging in it and then about 15 minutes later he'd come back into the house all winded and reeking of sweat.  I'd always find the thing draped over the bathroom shower bar totally drenched.  Shudder.

    

Also in this issue there's a fun little ad for a Dukes of Hazzard movie, which I think is just a two-part episode aired back to back (though I'm not positive.)  It's kind of fun to see an ad that doesn't feature the General Lee prominently front and center.  There's also a great ad for a movie I'm now dying to see, Rodeo Girl.  Cow roping action mixed with the potential for soap opera-esque baby loosing drama is one heck of hook in my opinion.  It's like Lifetime and the original TNN got together and did a movie of the week.

    

If you'd asked me last week if Ted Danson had a starring role in a futuristic spy thriller facing off against Christopher Lee before moving on to Cheers, I would certainly have laughed and said no, but there's the advert for it above.  Again, where are these movies on DVD?  Also, in the K-Mart ad above, is that the most expensive clock radio ever?  Who paid $40 in 1980 dollars for a clock radio?

    

Though I don't have many first hand memories of much of what's contained in this issue of TV Guide, I have to admit that it contained a ton of surprises.  Take the above preview for the Dukes of Hazzard spin-off series Enos for example.  Though I practically grew up on DoH, and have had an interest in the mythology most my life, I have never heard of this wacky gem.  Enos, in California?  Really?

There are a couple of other fun previews including Too Close For Comfort, Magnum P.I., It’s a Living, and one show out of all of these that I actually watched the living heck out of once it hit syndication, Bosom Buddies.  Tom Hanks was the example by which I judged and defined comedy for a large portion of my childhood.

Finally, on one of the last pages of this issue there is an interesting section devoted to other shows that the Networks have waiting in the wings so to speak, one of which I've never heard of and I am dying to see called Mr. & Mrs. Dracula.  The relevant portion is highlighted in the above scan, but basically it's about the Dracula's emigrating from Transylvania to America so they can raise a family in more suitable environs.  Wow, how Munster's is that premise?  Why have I never heard of this show?  Maybe it never actually aired, or maybe I have a bit of Youtube homework to do tonight.

Anyway, next week I'll be back with yet another highlighted issue, most likely the 1982 edition.

Category: 80s TV Guide Fall Preview Issues -- posted at: 10:02 AM
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About a year or so ago I stumbled upon something pretty cool on eBay that I thought would be fun to share on Branded in the 80s, namely an almost complete run of TV Guide Fall Preview issues for the eighties (1981-1990.) I'd still like to locate the issues from 77-80, but instead of putting this off any longer, I thought I'd go ahead and start posting the highlights from these issues.

My family was TV Guide-oholics while I was growing up. First off we didn't have a television with a remote until I was in high school, and we didn't have a remote controlled cable box until a couple years before that. Up until then, all throughout the 80s we had those old cable boxes that had a slide lever that you pushed to the right to get into the higher numbered channels and to the left to get to the lower numbered channels. It was one of those types of boxes that you family's drunk acquaintances would swear could pick up the pay channels for free if you just stuck a playing card between the lever and the receptor inside. Ours were typically connected to the TV by an extra long cord that was always stretched across the living room so that my dad could toggle through the channels while he lay on the couch. Anyway, because channel surfing was a little more archaic and because none of us cared for the one channel that would flash programming for all the other channels (what's become the TV Guide channel oddly enough), we lived by our weekly TV guide digest.

On Satudays my mom would come home with the weekly groceries and I'd always dive into the bags looking for our copy of the guide so that I could flip straight to the 'Movies' section to see what was playing on the pay cable channels. We only ever subscribed to HBO and I was always dying to see what was going to be on that week, not to mention lamenting what I couldn't see on Showtime or Cinemax. Sure, we also received the HBO guide by mail once a month, but my parents usually swiped it up and it would soon disappear never to be found again. I would also roughly plan out my Saturday morning, trying to come up with the best way to navigate through the cartoons on the various channels, though ultimately I would always end up sitting in front of the TV and switching between toons, mid-show. Of course, the best issue only came out once a year, the Fall Preview edition which showcased all of the new programming on the main three networks.

As I mentioned above, the earliest issue in the lot I picked up was the 1981 edition. I was only four at the time, so I doubt I flipped though this particular issue, and with a few exceptions, I don't remember many of the new shows that were offered up. I still can't help but smile while looking though it though. Actually, another interesting aspect of the TV Guide is that it's geared towards local markets, so every week there should be at least 100 to 200 different editions depending on where you live in the country. Though most of the up front and cable material is the same, there are some interesting bits of local flair in the middle. Most of the issues in the stack I purchased were from California, and in the small region that was actually lucky enough to pick up Channel Z (there's a great documentary on Z Channel that gives background on the whole phenomenon), so it's kind of a kick to see what was playing through out part of the 80s.

Anyway, without further to do, here are a bunch of thumbnail that link to larger scans from the issue…

      

I think it's weird that the artist who mocked up the cover chose to put a ring on what I assume is a lady's hand drawing back the right side of the curtains. I don't know why I find it weird, but I do. Though there were plenty of cigarette and liquor ads, the one that caught my eye first which a whopping 6-page Sears spread featuring all sorts of appliances and electronics. From $400 dollar monstrously sized microwave ovens (though they allude could cook a whole turkey, though I wouldn't want to eat it) and surprisingly modern-priced washer and dryer units, to pricey TVs (with Super Chromix picture tubes) and $800 Betamax players. Interesting side note on the Super Chromix picture tubes, I distinctly remember putting my face up so close to the TV glass that I could only see the weird green, blue, red color bars. I always wondered how it could look so good from far away and so simple up close. Ah the wonders of science and technology, and stupid kids smudging their grubby faces on TV screens…

      

I didn't scan in every TV show preview page, but I tried to snag the ones with some recognizable faces, like the above show King's Crossing with a young Linda Hamilton. The one show out of this entire book that I wish I had paid attention to at the time was the show The Powers of Matthew Star. It sounds like an 80s version of Smallville, except the dude had a kickass spear!

      

I also tried to scan in shows that have since become pop culture icons, like Simon and Simon above. Believe it or not, I have never seen a single episode of that show. My wife is ashamed of me.

I also thought it was kind of weird how openly liquor used to be advertised with soda brands. The above Bacardi ad is only one of like three in this issue alone that has major brand sodas in them, advertising the beauty of a mixed drink. Does this ever happen anymore?

Of course I was all over the Saturday Morning cartoon ads in the TV Guides I bought. These make wonderful companion pieces to the ads I've already posted from the various comics books of the 80s. This one above fills in the 1981 ABC gap in my original post. There was also a tiny ad for one of the ABC Weekend Special cartoons which I vaguely remember catching every once in awhile…

      

There was also a nice Solid Gold ad (featuring Andy Gibb and Olivia Newton-John, who has been a crush of mine every since I saw Xanadu this past year.) For some reason, though no one in my family really seems the type to have watched it, I remember having Solid Gold on in the background on the weekends while we had our big family meals (typically either steak or burgers.)

      

Now there's a show that I have weird memories of, Sha-Na-Na. Actually, my memories are all fragmented and for some odd reason seem to be getting mixed up with both Scott Baio and Hee-Haw of all things. I remember the weird song they'd sing where the one dude was pumping his guns and twisting his wrist and fist outward and inward. Again, why aren't there compilations of stuff like this on DVD. I don't need a season of Sha-Na-Na, just an episode to stir up some more truthful memories. Sigh.

Also, we have another Saturday Morning cartoon ad, ah, excuse me, a Saturdazzle ad. Man, to wake up early on a Saturday morning to catch Fat Albert on Saturdazzle, tizzle my dizzle and the hippity hoppity and junk. Anyway, you can find a different version of this ad from a comic book here.

Above we also have yet another show I'm sorry I missed and is now sadly gone (though I bet there's stuff on youtube), Fridays. Would you look at that young afro-clad Larry David! I wonder what hyjinks Andy Kaufman was getting into that week? Btw, I love love love Mark Blankfield, he was great in the Incredible Shrinking Woman…

        

Above we have some more fun preview pages showcasing the beginnings of the Fall Guy, Gimmie a Break, a running try at a series by Joel Higgins (who would later cement his fame in Silver Spoons), and a last ditch effort by Gabe Kaplan (who should have known better than to try and follow up Welcome Back Kotter with anything.) There are also a few fun ads, including one for Dial soap with some fun illustrations, a very conniving cigarette ad, and some old packaging for Nuti-Grain cereals.



Last but not least, we have a preview for Open All Night starring Bubba Smith (who was making a name for himself acting-wise in the Police Academy movies), and George Dzundza (who I believe was partnered with Chris Noth on the first season of Law & Order.)

Anyway, that basically the highlights from this issue. It was really cool to get a look at the listings even though they weren't my particular local stations growing up. It was cool to see what re-runs were playing at the time as well as all of the cartoons and such. Hopefully I'll be showcasing another issue each week until I've made my way through the rest of the 80s (and I might hit a couple from the 90s just for good measure.)

Category: 80s TV Guide Fall Preview Issues -- posted at: 4:08 PM
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