I think it might surprise folks that I don’t have a huge collection of vintage toys from the 80s. Almost none of my original toys made it through the plethora of family moves throughout the 90s (my parents secretly disposed of most of my childhood things claiming they were lost), the the few pieces that survived were either foolishly destroyed or traded away. It didn’t help matters that as a kid I was always a “trader” swapping toys with friends as a means of getting stuff my parents didn’t gift me on birthdays and Christmas. My history is littered with boneheaded toy transactions where I was most assuredly on the losing end of the bargain.
Case in point, my rash decision at age 12 to trade a garbage bag full of my Transformers for a Hot Wheels Rally Case full of about 40 Micro Machines cars and planes. For some reason my parents ignored my pleas for some of these, and the rad commercials staring John Moschitta were driving me crazy with tiny vehicle lust. Since I never had an allowance until in my later teen years, there was no way I could buy these on my own (40 MM, at $4 per pack of 5, works out to about $32 which to me at the time was nearing Scrooge McDuck net worth territory.) So it made perfect sense to trade almost all of my transformers. What did I give up? Optimus Prime, Red Alert, Ironhide, Ratchet, Inferno, Sideswipe, Swoop, Soundwave, Buzzsaw, Dirge, Shrapnel, Kickback, Bombshell, Crosshairs, all five Terrorcons, a couple of Stunticons, Wreckgar, Beachcomber, Brawn, Warpath, Cliffjumper, and all of Computron. Easily $250 worth of toys for a measly handful of Micro Machines. I’m super glad my parents never found out (or let me know if they did uncover my black market toy swaps.) For years I’d regretted it, and it wasn’t until the past six or seven years that I was able to come to terms with it after replacing a few of these toys with some Toys R Us reissues. But there are a bunch of Transformers what weren’t put out again, and have been way too over-priced to even contemplate picking up mint on card or MIB. This past weekend though, after visiting a toy store I thought was no longer open, I finally managed to reconnect with another of these lost Transformers (well, sort of.)
While browsing the tiny, impossibly cramped vintage toy shop I locked eyes with one of my favorite Transformers, Computron’s right arm, the Techobot Afterburner. I’m not sure whether it’s his Tron-esque design, the cool looking white canopy/cockpit, the orange color scheme or the simple fact that he was one of the rare 80s era motorcycle toys, but Afterburner has always been burned into my psyche as a childhood favorite toy. When I saw this carded figure I had to have it and was temporarily blinded by the fact that the bubble had been lifter and he was missing his rad pulse cannon.
Honestly, I didn’t care all that much because missing pieces or not, this was still a brand new Afterburner complete with card. I’ve mentioned in the past that I have some weird issues when it comes to “buying back my childhood” and how I’m not all that keen on acquiring vintage opened toys as they’re essentially someone else’s memories. Sure, we all share the common pop culture pool of toys and cartoons which binds us in a sense, but the specific toys that were loved and played with are very individual. So when I happen upon old/new stock at a reasonable price it’s like having my birthday and Christmas all rolled up in one. Extra added bonus with this particular Afterburner is that it was also packaged with a Transformers Decoy minifig, something I never had and have always wanted. Win Win!
I immediately purchased the figure and the first thing I did on the way to the car was take a snapshot to share on instagram, twitter and facebook. Inevitably the question came up about whether I intended to open the figure or to keep him (relatively) sealed. Well I ended up opening him and here’s why…
First of all, the card and bubble weren’t in the best shape, and the bubble had been lifted further off the card that I realized initially (in my excitement I didn’t inspect it too closely, I just assumed the one pulse cannon had been removed.) That alone would have bugged me, what with the staples used to close the bottom bubble and all. More importantly I just really wanted to hold the toy again and to transform and pose him. So I took out my sharpest knife and proceeded to cut away the portions of the bubble that weren’t glued down to free my new treasure…
Well, it was mush to my chagrin after opening Afterburner when I realized that this was not an almost mint on card toy. In fact, this was a well played with and kinda grungy figure! I should have realized this as the stickers had already been placed on the toy, but I really figured it out when I took him out and the side of the toy that was facing inward towards the card was dirty as all hell. There was some sort of sticky gunk in the wheel well and there were years of dust and dirt in the crevasses. Sigh. I’m 95% sure this specific figure and card weren’t originally together either. If I had to guess, the shop owner found the card with the bubble, weapons, and Decoy attached and put in a loose Afterburner he had on hand. The fact that the one side was all clean sort of confirms that for me. Am I pissed? No. But it confirmed that my decision to open the toy was the best bet.
Not only was the toy dirty, but he was a bitch and a half to transform. I thought for certain that I was going to snap it in half while trying to bend the waist joint. Judging by what looks like some super glue residue at the base of his head (which doubles as the connecting pin for attaching it as Computron’s arm), the head/neck piece was also broken and glued back on. Still though, after I cleaned him up and very gingerly transformed him I did get a little thrill and it felt nice to hold him in my hands almost 25 years after stupidly giving him up. Seriously, is his alt mode not the coolest toy motorcycle since Condor from M.A.S.K?
Luckily I was able to preserve his cardback and the inserts. Because the package came from a Decoy edition, it was packed with a mini fold out comic which is really fun. There was also a mail in form for Reflector (something I’ve coveted for years), as well as instructions on how to form Computron. Isn’t this card artwork just the coolest?!? I’m so happy that a nice hardcover book featuring Transformers box art is coming out in May (I’ve already pre-ordered my copy!)
Here’s the Decoy minicomic…
And that rad Reflector mail-away…
Only 2 Robot Points huh? Well, I guess I only need one and a half more!!!
Lastly, for anyone curious about how to form Computron, here you go…
I sure would love to have the other 4 figures to be able to form the full Computron again. Since this Afterburner was originally someone else’s memory maybe I’ll be able to make an exception and pick up some opened figures. Who knows. Maybe someday…
