New League assignment, my Top Ten favorite movie villains…


By Shawn Robare

It’s been almost a month since I’ve turned in an assignment for the League (I took a couple off and the whole crew was on hiatus last week), but this week I’m back and ready to tackle the current topic of list making.  Since summer is upon us and for most of us that means plenty of extra trips to the movie theaters, Brian over at Cool & Collected posed the question of creating some top ten movie lists themed however we wished.  I love making lists, though I’m not sure I big on making authoritative ones, so I decided to choose a topic that is film related, but a little more specific and pretty much only applies to me.  So without further ado, here are my top ten favorite 80s era villains, my childhood league of injustice if you will…

10). Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

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I knew a lot of guys like Francis growing up (minus the enormous wealth) who just had to have everything everyone else around them loved.  One kid in particular used to bug the shit out of my whenever I’d get a cool Garbage Pail Kid or baseball card, always wanting to trade for it.  There were a number of times when I’d get so frustrated that I’d rip up the requested card in front of him to shut him up.  Not only did it shut him up, but it also helped me to not get too attached to posessions.  It is after all, just stuff…

9). Biff from Back to the Future

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Honestly, who doesn’t love to hate Biff?  Though most of the iconic scenes are in the first flick, I love the scenes of the young 50s era Biff in the first sequel when he’s getting ready for the Enchantment Under the Sea dance.  It’s not that he really shows any humanity per-se, but seeing him going about his day without specifically being a bully is nice.  Gave him a tad more depth…

8). Chet from Weird Science

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Bill Paxton’s Chet is like Biff on steroids, twice as mean, twice as douche-y, and he has once hell of an ugly spud spirit animal inside of him.  Did I mention that Bill Paxton was born to play douchebag assholes?

7). Tie between David and his crew of Lost Boys in, well, the Lost Boys, and Jesse, Diamondback, Severn, Mae, and Homer in Near Dark

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Very few times have I felt like Vampires have been nailed, cinematically speaking, but the packs of leeches in these two films pretty much define what I think immortal bloodsuckers would truly look and act like.  The Lost Boys is a bit more teen-y and flashy, but they’re certainly on the same page as the dusty, fang-less nosferatu in Near Dark.  Oh and look at that, Bill Paxton made the list twice.  Huh.

6). Hook & the Daggers from Thrashin’

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Robert Rusler was brilliantly douche-y in Weird Science, but he really shines as an asshole in Thrashin’.  Picking on break-dancers, being an over protective brother to Chrissy, and starting skateboarding mace fights willy nilly is a hard and evil business.  For the two years that I skated (badly) in the 80s, I lived in constant fear of the local group of street-surfing bad asses that would skate through my neighboorhood on the weekends.  I was terrified that they’d beat me up and steal my board because I sucked.  They never beat me up, but my board was stolen…

5). Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China

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This green-eye obsessed, mystic, Chinese demigod is equal parts hilarious and devious.  He also knows how to really utilize Thunder, Lightning and Rain.  I love the mythology in this flick, much like the one created for the villain to muck around in in this next flick…

4). Dr. Emilio Lizardo from Buckaroo Banzai

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Batshit crazy does not even begin to describe Dr. Lizardo, and John Lithgow has truly has a field day chewing up the scenery as this insane Russian scientist turned would be ruler of the world.  “History is-a made at night.  Character is what you are in the dark.”

3). The Lone Biker of the Apocalypse from Raising Arizona

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When you need to get your baby back at all costs, even if one of those costs might be decimating a small town, you call the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse.  He doesn’t need three biker friends to fill out his crew of horsemen, he’s his own quartet of evil.

2). RJ Fletcher from UHF

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Evil incarnate.  He’d not only kick your puppy, but he’d bill you for having to have his shoes buffed afterwards.  Ever injustice league needs one of those megalomaniacal bastards that has an evil laugh and insanely weird evil plans.  Fletcher is the Cobra Commander of UHF

1). Johnny Lawrence and the Cobra Kai from the Karate Kid

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Everyone else can have their Darth Vaders, Zuuls and General Zods, but my number one bad guy will always be super-douche Johnny.  He hates boom boxes, skinny unassuming Italian kids, and anyone who even looks funny at Elizabeth Shue.  Sweep the leg, Johnny, SWEEP IT!

There are easily a hundred other characters that could have made the cut, but after mulling it over these are the guys that at one point or another haunted my nightmares.  Coincidentally, these guys also populate, more or less, my top ten go-to films (though Thrashin’ would be switched out with Rad, and the Goonies would probably knock Raising Arizona off the list.)  So what’s the rest of the League have to say about their top ten movie lists?  Well, click on over and find out!

Jaime, Shezcrafti, puts together an awesomely obscure 80s teen flick list

TL, Flashlights are Something to Eat, talks about his go-to summer movies

Michael, Memories of Tomorrow, talks abouthis top ten films

Michael, Michael May’s Adventureblog, talks about his favorite films

Howie, Underscoopfire!, makes a great argument for his need for an 80s movie intervention

Brother Midnight, Green Plastic Squirtgun, has a rather fun eclectic list

Reis, The Dork Horde, talks about the top ten flicks that define him

Aaron, Movie Hodge Podge, talks about his favorite 80s action flicks

Lok, That Figures, lists his top ten favorite films (a lot of fun horror)

Adam, The Man Who Stares at Toys, gets Ravenous about his list

Paxton, Cavalcade of Awesome, travels back in time so much reality is becoming one big Gordian Knot

Brian, Cool & Collected, does not want a banana, but he’ll take a blonde startlet or a girl named Nova

Flywheels, Random Toy Review, counts down his top ten films

Jamie, Whatever I Think Of, lists her 10 ten flicks

Ashley, Life With Fandom, is digging up some fond movie memories from the late 80s, early 90s

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Violet – Yeah, agreed on Mohawky dude. He also played a pretty fun douche in Commando to!

  • https://three.libsyn.com/thehungerseattle.com Violet Sverine

    Ahhh, great list. Chet from Weird Science is such a douchebag. Yes Mr. Paxton plays them well. ;) I’d like to give a shout out to the evil mohawk bandit leader dude in Road Warrior. Very punchable. ;)

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    AiXeLsyD13 – Agreed! Vader was one mean cyborg chick. I think a Corey Feldman movie night is shaping up in my future…

  • http://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/ AiXeLsyD13

    Principle Vader from Rock N’ Roll High School Forever was pretty easy to hate.

  • http://aixelsyd13.wordpress.com/ AiXeLsyD13

    Great list! Chet, Biff, Francis, Johnny all such terrible people. Ha ha.

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Adam – Agreed, Luther is a total douche. Which reminds me, I need to re-watch the Warriors, but before I do that I need to find the original DVD as I only have the “Lucasified” comic book sequence re-cut DVD…

  • http://www.adambobomb.blogspot.com Adam

    Biff Francis and Chet could serve as a ultimate triumvirate of dicks. What about Luther from the Warriors? Now THERE is a scumbag! Too bad he was in 79.

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Flywheels – I don’t think a day has gone by after I saw that flick in theaters that I haven’t referenced it at least once. My wife is still amazed that I elect to do all the moping around our place…

  • http://randomtoyreviews.blogspot.com/ Flywheels

    Bonus points for mentioning UHF!!

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Pax – Yeah, the ordering reflects the villains more than the movies, and pretty much in the order with which I’d take them on if I were creating my own Kill Bill style list… ;)

  • http://www.cavalcadeofawesome.net/ Paxton Holley

    Great pics, Shawn. Of course Thrashin’ made the list. That doesn’t surprise me. I love that Johnny is #1. Nailed that. I thought Biff should be higher, but I’ll give it a pass. I considered this very topic myself but I went another direction in my movie themes. Great job. Pax

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Reis – I can only hope that when my time comes, someone screams that at the scene of my perishing.

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Brian – After reading Howie Deckers list, I’m thinking I needed to add Clarence Boddicker from Robocop…

  • http://www.coolandcollected.com/ Brian (Cool and Collected)

    Fantastic list Shawn! I’m wracking my brain to try and think of who you missed, but I’m coming up empty. ;)

  • https://three.libsyn.com/dorkhorde.blogspot.com Reis O’Brien

    Get him a body bag!!!