Tag Archives: soda

Frozen Drinks 101, part 3

So as promised, here is the next thrilling chapter in the textbook that should be a part of the curriculum of Frozen Drinks 101 (to be offered at any self respecting community college near you.)

Today’s review: Quick Trip Freezoni’s. I’m not sure how far reaching QT’s are, and I’m too lazy right now to look it up on their website, but suffice it to say, they are the most popular gas mega-station in the metro Atlanta area. Sure we have Shell’s, Texaco’s, BP’s, Citgo’s, Chevron’s, and the occasional Circle K, but QT’s are the only 16-24 pump stations with a nice large (and clean) convenience store as well. They’ve always been the gas station convenience store of choice, if not just for their selection than for their mega-awesome fountain drink station. They always have both Pepsi and Coke products on tap, and there are usually about 20 to choose from. They also specialize in the Double Quart fountain drink at a measly $0.99. Can you drink 2 quarts of soda in a sitting? Probably not, but it’s handy to have around during late night role-playing sessions, or for those not often enough Godzilla marathons on the Sci-Fi channel.

Well about a year and a half ago QT decided to get into the frozen drink business with their own concoction called the Freezoni. It’s available in 4 to 6 flavors, depending on the setup, ranging from Orange Cream and Sour Apple to a suspiciously basic Cola. They also offer the innocuous White Cherry, which is typically both bland in color and flavor.

I was pretty excited about this new direction in refreshment opportunity as I have QT’s within a mile of both work and home. Unfortunately, and once again because I was weaned on the 7-11 Slurpee, these Freezoni’s just don’t cut the mustard. For the sake of this review and my own taste buds, I decided to go with the only flavor that’s even partially drink-able, Blue Raspberry. Now I’ve tried all the flavors and all of them are hideous. I’m not talking bland or kind of bad, I’m talking impossible to keep down.

First off, the general consistency of the drink is like too dry oatmeal. The syrup to ice ratio leans heavily towards the syrup, so much so that it’s like drinking honey. There is so much, well flavor for lack of a better term, that it actually hurts a little so swallow it. Second, the flavor is so intense that there is an aftertaste for hours, most likely because it coats your throat like cough syrup and takes that long to clear. My frozen drink shouldn’t be this combative, though because of this “thickness” it does form a pretty nice firm head.

What I’ve found is that you have to cut the consistency and flavor with something much crisper and well wet. When I’m in the mood for seriously intense frozen drink flavor and I feel brave enough to attempt a Freezoni, I’ve found that the best way to get through one is by mixing it in a 50 to 50 ratio with either Sprite or Mountain Dew from the tap. The Freezoni acts as the ice in a normal fountain drink and the soda cuts though the “so sweet it’s bitter” flavor. Here’s an example of what that looks like:

Though that may not seem appetizing, it’s they only way it’s drink-able. At the end of the day I’m not sure it’s worth it for your basic adult who just wants a good frozen drink. For kids though, it’s a whole ‘nother story. When I went to the machine to get the pictures and a sample, there was a guy with four kids all screaming and clamoring for the damn things. So much so that it took twenty minutes to get my drink and pictures in peace. It just so happens that on this day the Cola flavor was on defrost and this seriously pissed off one of the kids who was like on this mission to get one a day for the whole summer or something, I couldn’t get the entire story over the din of his whining. But then again, kids have a tendency to go towards stuff that the typical adult doesn’t have the time or patience for. When I was young candy couldn’t be too sour or sweet. I remember when the liquid lollipops in the toothpaste like packaging came out and I would suckle off that for hours even though it was just about the same consistency as the Freezoni’s above.

Anyway, this unfortunately seems to be yet another bad frozen drink review. Trust, me though, keep attending this class and you will eventually see something positive, like maybe next time when I hit the next gas mega-station entry the Racetrack Frozen Drinks. Till then, do you homework and if you live by a 7-11, drink a Slurpee for me.

Frozen Drinks 101, part 2

So here’s another exciting chapter in the book of Frozen Drinks 101. Today I’m going to review the second leap in frozen drink technology I encountered when I moved to Georgia, the Burger King Frozen Coke and Frozen Fanta Cherry (formerly Frozen Minute Maid Cherry.) If you’ll remember last time I reviewed the less than stellar Slush Puppie.

I was pretty excited when Burger King added their frozen sodas to their menu because from all appearances it was built on the same foundation (or at least a similar lot) as the 7-11 Slurpee, the king of frozen drinks in my humble opinion and the one by which all others are judged.

When I first tired one, I was a little bit disappointed. Whereas it was much more like a Slurpee, there was something that just wasn’t right. It was too light and air-y. It almost seemed kind of watered down. Though I haven’t started my own lexicon for frozen drink conditions, I’ll take this opportunity to borrow from an already established one and say that they seemed to be Foamees. Though since they were also weak and since I’m not sure if this has a term I guess I’d also have to call them Jipees, which is the condition of being jipped on syrup.

I tried the other flavor at the time, the more classic Cherry but I didn’t like it too much because it tasted a bit too much like cough syrup, which was how a lot of the Minute Maid brand sodas seemed to taste to me.

Well for this new review I hoped that maybe BK had changed their formula, as its been awhile since I’d been to one. The fiancee and I both picked up a basic medium Frozen Coke (that’s the BK large equivalent, which just brings up another gripe I have with the various names of drink sizes that’s for another time.)

Though I still like it a hell of a lot better than a Slush Puppie, it sadly hasn’t changed much in the last 7 or so years. It’s still light and sort of watered down.

This one in particular developed a nasty case of the Chunkees, which is to say that there were large air pockets in the dink that cause you to have to reposition your straw a number of times to get it in a better position.

On a separate occasion when I didn’t have my camera handy I tried the new equivalent of the Cherry flavor, which is now under the Fanta brand. I was really disappointed in this one because not only does it suffer from the basic physical problems of the BK frozen Coke, but it’s also the weakest tasting Cherry I’ve ever tasted. It was like the crystal light version of crystal light or something.

Anyway, stay tuned for the next installment of this education series when I discuss the Quick Trip version of a slushie.

Frozen Drinks 101, the Slush Puppie

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Slurpees lately, or more accurately the lack of Slurpees in Georgia. I figured it’d be fun to cruise around to the various gas stations and fast food places to do small articles on the state of the frozen drink availability in rednecksville GA, so today the fiancée and I tooled around the city looking for Slush Puppies.

When I first moved to Georgia I was in serious Slurpee withdrawal as we’d already been 9 months removed from Florida and there were no 7-11’s in New Hampshire. I was hoping, since we were trekking down south again, that there would be a 7-11 somewhere, but no luck.

The first drink I came into contact with that was even close to a Slurpee was a Slush Puppie, but I was wary of the concoction because instead of simple pumping out the frozen bliss into a cup you had to combine the ice/liquid mixture with the flavoring syrup yourself. I had good reason to be wary too because when I finally got one I messed up the ratio of icy liquid to syrup and made one of the nastiest drinks ever. It was beyond sour to a point where it hurts to pucker your lips any further, and no amount of sugar packets swiped from the coffee section would sweeten it. As I’ve said before, I’m not the brightest boy and it took me a bit to realize that there were cryptic instructions on the cup that you mixed the drink in. Each cup had a “paw points´┐Ż? number on it that was the number of syrup squirts you were supposed to add. This isn’t explained; at least it wasn’t on the machine I came into contact with.

The next ones were better, but it was never in the league of a Slurpee and here’s why:

The above picture is of one of the newer Slush Puppie machines that took us the better part of an evening to find (it was the 4th gas station we tried and the second Chevron). In the new format, you no longer do the drink mixing yourself. I assume some kid died from adding too much syrup and the company had to rethink their strategy.

So since I’ve never had a great love of the drink I picked up a small to try for old time’s sake. You can see the trademark Slush Puppie on the cup.

I chose the Blue Raspberry flavor purely because I liked the bluish tint to the drink and in the end it really didn’t matter because I don’t care for them. See the drink is made up of a very liquid-y mixture of sugar water and large (think sesame seed like in size) ice crystals with a sour syrup flavoring to add color and well flavor. To me this is just too wet for a frozen drink and because of this you can easily suck out all of the syrup and sugar water in like three sips. Every Slush Puppie ever has ended its poor excuse for a life as a giant chunk of flavorless ice that’s tossed into the nearest trashcan. The only way to sidestep this phenomenon is by drinking it without a lid. This can be very dangerous.

Before today the last time I had a Slush Puppie was about 7 years ago. I was particularly craving a frozen cherry drink and decided to drive 15 miles out of my way to get one from one of the last remaining Amaco gas stations in our area. I got the drink and made my way to Blockbuster to return a video. I was waiting at a red light sipping my drink sans lid for the full Slush Puppie experience when I was rear ended by a girl applying make-up in her car because she was late to work. Upon impact the entire contents of the drink exploded onto my windshield and dash scarring the bejesus out of both the girl who hit me and the guy infront of me that she knocked me into. When I stepped out of the car dripping with red Slush Puppie, they thought I was going to die.

So what’s the moral of the story kids? Leave the damn lid on and even though the drink will suffer, it’ll be less of a hassle to clean your car in the event of an accident.

Next time I’ll review the next frozen drink on my list, the Burger King Frozen Coke.