Category Archives: Halloween 2006

Smell my feet…

So I’ve been chomping at the bit for the eventual Halloween explosion in stores around here. I’m a pretty big fan as it is, but this year I just can’t seem to wait and I keep getting these urges to run out to various mega-marts looking for little bits of cheap plastic gory fun. For instance, Matt over at X-Entertainment stumbled upon these weird zombie finger puppets at Target and I found myself inexplicably driving up there the other day in hopes of finding the dollar bins filled with cheap scary goodness. Alas, only the finger puppets were to be found, though there was a display in the back with some orange and black flashlights, but flashlights just aren’t what I’m jonesing for.

I don’t know, I even went so far as to pick up a set of the Polar Lights re-issues of the monsters in silly cars model kits. I’ve never really been a big model-making fan, as I hate model glue and never got the hang of painting them. I’m hoping between the fiancée and I we’ll be able to get them done up right.

On an unrelated note, I also broke my self-imposed rule about re-buying stuff from my childhood. I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of picking that kind of stuff up on Ebay, like Transformers or G.I. Joe figures because it feels like I’d be buying someone else’s memories or something. I have been thinking about doing another podcast (on 80’s school supplies) recently and I sort of want to write an article with pictures and stuff to flesh it out, but I don’t have any of the stuff I wanted to talk about. Well I hit a little antique/flea market store in this little abandoned looking strip mall in Lilburn a couple weeks ago and I saw some school supply stuff there and I struggled with whether or not to buy some. There was a brand new E.T. eraser still mint on card as well as an E.T. pencil bag. The pencil bag was pretty cheap, but the eraser was $5 and that seemed like a lot to pay for something that’s just going to go into a box and probably only looked at one or two more times. Well I ended up deciding against them but when I got home I looked on Ebay just for the hell of it and I soon found myself wrapped up in 80’s eraser heaven. I couldn’t help myself, I just started bidding on a few items here and there and the next thing I knew, I dropped $15 on erasers. Freaking erasers for crying out loud. Oh well, hopefully they’ll make a nice visual aid and it’ll prompt me to do the podcast before I turn forty or something.

This also reminds me of something else. At that flea market there were a lot of 80’s Burger King promotional glasses from the Great Muppet Caper, Star Wars, and like the Shirt Tales and stuff that were really cheap. But here’s the thing, what do you do with a 20 year old drinking glass that you know has been used a million times in someone else’s household? I mean I don’t think I could drink out of them, and I’m not sure if I would enjoy displaying them, but the pull to buy them was so strong. Would you be comfortable using them? I know logically there’s nothing wrong with them, it’s not like there are microbes stuck forever to the surface of the glass, but it still seems wrong. I don’t know….

Crestwood Monster Series

So lately I’ve been wondering about how my love for all things monsters and horror began. I know there were a lot of contributing factors such as Garbage Pail Kids stickers, which featured some disturbing and gross horror related artwork, and Halloween in general, but I know that there has to be more to it than that. There were some movies, Monster Squad, Gremlins, and Poltergeist in particular, that definitely added fuel to the monster fire as well as the original Universal Monster movies that I know my parents sat me down to watch at some point.

Being the 80’s of course, it was hard to not be aware of stuff like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I didn’t see those flicks until almost the end of the decade. Let’s see, there was some TV that influenced me, namely Tales From the Darkside, Monsters, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, The Twilight Zone and the occasional scary episode of Amazing Stories. Michael Jackson’s Thriller video didn’t hurt either staying on regular rotation on both MTV and my cassette player. I suppose the monster theme of the He-Man rogues gallery was an influence as well.

Of course there were also the books that I’ve talked about on the blog before, Samantha Slade, Bunnicula, and a few others that had monster theme-ing that I can’t remember the titles to.

Well I recently stumbled upon a series of books that I used to check out of my elementary school library on almost a daily basis, the Crestwood House Monster Series. I saw some pictures of the books on Neato Coolville’s Flickr account, and immediately flashed back on the third grade and our school library. We only had a few of the books in the series in our library, but I read and reread them a million times. Here’s a list of the books in the series:

I’m pretty sure we had Dracula, Godzilla, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman. Well after seeing these books for the first time in 20 years, I had to have one and I whisked over to Ebay with hopes that there was a bristling business in old out of print horror related school library edition books. Guess what? There was, and I picked up a couple, one that I definitely remember reading, Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, and one that I just want for myself, Frankenstein. The Franky Meets the Wolfman arrive last week in horrible condition (there was no picture on the auction, but the price was right) but I still love it to pieces. Here’s a scan of the cover:

These books were a huge push in the horror direction for me because of the hours I spent pouring over the large crisp black and white photos and just the idea that there were so many other books in the series that I might one day stumble upon. I received the Frankenstein book in the mail yesterday and I was relieved that this one was in much better condition, yet after flipping through it I was sort of bummed, not because the content was bad, but exactly the opposite. This is the best kids book on Frankenstein that I’ve ever seen. Between its two worn covers lie a plethora of information on many of the various incarnations of Franky in the past 70 years, and if I had read it when I was a kid I might not have waited so long to watch the Hammer version, Curse of Frankenstein, until so late as there were a few really good photos of the Christopher Lee Monster.

Anyway, I am so glad that I stumbled upon these and can’t thank Neato Coolville enough for posting them on his Flickr account for the world to rediscover. Now if I could only find cover scans or copies of the series of hardbound school library editions of the Marvel Super Heros orgin books. There were four that I remember, the Avengers, Spiderman, the Hulk, and the Fantastic Four. Each book had the first two or three issues of the comic and a little introduction about the series. I guess that’ll just have to wait until another day…

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Frozen Drinks 101, Part 9!

So today we divert a little from your classic American frozen drinks and venture into the unknown world of Asian slushes! Okay, so like pretty much the entire city where I live has had a make over in the last three or four years and slowly everything that was once there business-wise has moved down the main street about a mile. All the supermarkets went from twenty and thirty year old strip malls to brand new mega giant solitary locations while most of the other more eclectic stores that were in the old strip malls either closed or moved to another city. Basically the city has turned into a sort of ghost town of old empty strip malls.

Recently though, most of these have been bought up and either remodeled, or bull dozed to make way for new international strip malls. We now have a Mexican indoor mall where our outlet mall was (and it’s really nice with a bunch of awesome candy shops and tattoo parlors.) We also have no less than 4 Asian mega, two-story strip malls as well as two giant Asian farmers markets. Since I’m so enamored with the Asian culture this has been great. There are two stationary stores in particular that can’t be beat as far as Kogepan, Astroboy, and Miyazaki merchandise is concerned.

What’s been just the bee’s knee’s though are all the new restaurants that have popped up including a plethora of Vietnamese Pho houses. “Jefe, do you know what a plethora of Vietnamese Pho noodle houses means?” It means lots of awesome soup and sweet, sweet Vietnamese slushes. There are two houses in particular that I frequent, a hole in the wall place with great soup and okay slushes called What the Pho and a more upscale ritzy place with okay soup and awesome slushes called Pho Mimi. We’ll concentrate on the latter today as they have my favorite Vietnamese slush flavor, Green Apple!

Now I’m not completely convinced that this brand of slush is actually Vietnamese. The noodle house is, but the brand of slush they serve, Lollicup, makes no mention of nationality on their website and I believe it is based out of California, though it’s run by Asians. I’m making the assumption that it’s Vietnamese because I can only find them in the noodle houses, so if I’m wrong scream and shout and let me know the error of my ways. Anyway, I grabbed the fiancee and we strode off to Pho Mimi and picked up a couple of slushes, a green apple for me and a chocolate-mint for the lady.

It was a race to get back to the apartment so that I could photographically chronicle this momentous slushy event. As you can see below, traffic got a little bit of the better of my slush as it’s kind of melt-y on the bottom. None the less, I shall press on as I’m not about to run out and get another just for the pictures.

So these slushes are awesome. First off after the restaurants make them, they use a machine to seal them in the cup so there will be no spillage. You just poke your straw into the plastic covering and you’re good to go. All of the restaurants have served their slushes like this so far, so I’m assuming its par for the course.

Now one of the best aspects about these slushes is how they differ consistency-wise from other more American slushes. These are made with totally pulverized ice that’s got such small ice crystals that it’s got a very smooth and silky consistency almost like frozen yogurt but obviously more icy than creamy. Most of the places also give you a very oversized, diameter-wise, straw so you get pretty much a consistent flow of icy beverage and you don’t end up sucking out all the syrup first. Another great aspect is the syrup. High quality stuff, and it’s reflected in the price. Whereas most slush and Slurpee drinks will run you $1 to $1.89 or so, these Asian slushes are typically $3 or more, but they are so worth it every once in awhile.

The last thing that I love about these drinks is their flavor variety. Like I said the woman got a chocolate-mint slush. Chocolate?!? In a slush?!? Yes sir and she said it was great. They’re also offered in most of the more Asian fruit flavors like durian, longan, lychee, coconut and honeydew as well as more standard fruit fare like peach, watermelon, orange and strawberry.

It seems like the world of frozen drinks is truly opening up in Georgia.  All we need now is a freaking 7-11 franchise to open up and I’d be freaking set.

Frozen Drinks, Part 8!

Thatsa creamy frozena drinka! Today’s entry in the textbook of Frozen Drinks 101 is a double whammy as we take a look at the Burger King Coke Float and the Sonic Creamslush! I was introduced to the BK Coke Float before Sonics started popping up so I guess we’ll cover that one first.

Now I am no stranger to the float as a drink, and even sort of grew up on coke floats in general, but I have always known them to be a mixture of vanilla ice cream and regular sodas. Now I love me a float, but I’ll be honest, making them at home is an art unto it self. I am not sure if it’s an order thing (to add coke or ice cream first) or a “brand of ice cream used” thing but every time I’ve ever made a float the same problem happens. This nasty unappetizing foam forms on the top that continuously grows for minutes, obliterating most of the soda and taking a good five minutes out of the drinking process while I scrape it off into the sink. It also seems to separate the color additive from the soda so that the leftover soda is clear (and as anyone who partook in that Crystal Pepsi debacle a decade ago can attest to, clear soda that isn’t limon in flavor is a scary thing indeed.) I was raised on Breyer’s which is about as basic as you can get (I believe the ingredients listed are milk, cream, and sugar.) Maybe I need to switch to a more ingredient filled variety, like maybe the all natural goodness of Breyer’s clashes violently with all forms of chemically derived sodas or something.

Anyway, a few years ago, I believe around the time of the first Ice Age movie, Burger King Corp. got the brilliant idea of combining two of their dessert properties into one big frozen creamy soda-y drink movie tie-in known as the BK Ice Age Float. At the time the two available flavors were cherry and some blue fruity thing that wasn’t blue raspberry. At first I thought that the drink was an abomination, that soft serve ice cream surely would do nothing but mar the perfectly fine frozen drink flavor. Boy was I wrong. Today the float seems to be a seasonal item and it’s pretty basic as far as flavors go, being the creamier version of a frozen Coke or Fanta.

I decided, as you can read in my review of the BK Frozen Coke, that since their Fanta cherry is pretty crappy that I’d just go with a basic Coke Float. Let me tell you, as watered down as the normal frozen Coke was, the addition of soft serve vanilla ice cream is exactly the kick their frozen drink needs to get it back up to mega tasty.

It might be kind of hard to see in the picture because I was gypped and was served the drink in a paper cup instead of the clear one advertised in the sign above, but the drink is basically frozen Coke layered on top of a bed of soft serve. The awesome thing is that whoever poured this monster was bright enough to mix it up a bit before handing it off to me. That makes all the difference in the world as far as this type of combo is concerned. See if they didn’t do that all you’d get when you sucked up through the straw would be soft serve. That’s how it was when I was first introduced to the drink, and it was cool, but not great.

The only drawback to this drink was that it’s best when firm, and the more it melts the less appetizing it gets. I guess melted soft serve isn’t exactly as cool as the ice cream soup I used to make as a kid.

As you can see in the gross picture above, if it takes you more than 20 minutes to down one of these bad boys then you’ll most likely be left with a watery, foamy mess of a drink that resembles that nasty homemade Coke float foam I was talking about above.

So a very similar drink, just not carbonated and a lot fruitier is the Sonic Creamslush. Basically it’s the same deal as above except Sonic blends any flavor slush with soft serve to form a rich creamy, well creamslush.

I tried my damnedest to get a grape creamslush, for one because grape cream-sicles were my favorite and two because I haven’t had a purple drink in any of these reviews. Well unfortunately they made this one heavy on the soft serve so a lot of the color was lost.

Whatever the color these are awesome frozen drinks. Whereas the Crush Frozen Orange Dream drink tried to taste like a cream-sicle but only ended up tasting suspiciously like orange flavored children’s aspirin, all of the Sonic versions of the creamslush taste awesome. The only one I haven’t tried is green apple, because creamy and sour seem like a bad combo, but I’ll bet it’s better than that Orange Dream piece of crap.

Once again, like the BK Floats, the drink is on a time limit. Because it’s made with soft serve it’s got a limited shelf life before it gets melt-y and gross. Luckily for the consumer (and unlucky for the environment) all sonic drinks are served in Styrofoam cups so they are pretty well insulated from even the hottest summer heat and therefore can last up to an hours before they get gross. If you can’t finish your frozen treat in that amount of time though maybe you should just consider drinking water.

Well we’ve made it though eight, count ’em, eight frozen drink reviews. So far we’ve covered:

Slush Puppies

Burger King Frozen Cokes

Quik Trip Freezonis

Race Trak Frozen Cokes

Sonic Slushes

Popeye’s Cajun Chiller Slushes

Crush Frozen Orange Dreams

Join us next time when we get exotic and cover Vietnamese slushes!

Step back baby, I’m a Hungry Man!

Here is another stunning nostalgia food review, and this week it’s guaranteed to make you queasy ’cause folks, the pictures are not tummy tempting.  Growing up we hardly ever ate out or went to fast food places.  My mom was great about cooking the family dinner most every night and the nights when she didn’t quite feel like cooking we still had something that was remotely “cooked” at home (like those weird old Land-o-Lakes Turkey loafs with gravy, pot pies, or every once in awhile Swanson TV Dinners.)  No one in the family was eating them because we were under the impression that they are culinary delights (though the desserts sometimes were), but like most people we ate them because of the ease and novelty of eating a pre-made, compartmentalized, well-balanced, frozen dinner.

Very early on I developed a taste for the Salisbury steak variety.  There was just something awesome about all the brown gravy and the mashed potatoes; it was like eating a hamburger without the bun, and breaking the rules was fun.  I also learned very early on that I could only eat Swanson brand Salisbury steak, as every other brand I tried just didn’t cut the mustard (they tended to be gritty or way too soft.)  Very quickly I also graduated to the Hungry Man variety because those came with desserts, and since that was another thing my family wasn’t big on, it was mighty welcome in my frozen dinner.

So in honor of Movie Night and because I found two Salisbury steak Hungry Man dinners on clearance at Target, it was time to chow down on some seriously frozen grub.  Our adventure starts in the artic cold of my apartment freezer…

Though the dinners were on clearance they had a year to go before expiring, so I had no fear of serious freezer burn or anything.  These were two freshly frozen dinners.  If there’s one thing I regret about this new habit of documenting these dinners it’s that I always manage to get swept up in the moment and I forget to take all the pictures I had planned on.  This night, I forgot to get a picture of the dinners in their frozen state, which normally wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but both of the dinners had dollops of mashed potato frozen into the brownies and it was pretty gross  (but during cooking they mysteriously disintegrated or managed to jump back into the mashed potato cubicle because they were no where to be found.)

We now join our dinners as they’ve just emerged from the oven to perfect doneness.

Here’s a close-up of just how disgusting a freshly cooked Swanson Hungry Man dinner can look.  I say disgusting because there is a strange brown juice that’s accumulated on the film above the green beans and carrots, not to mention the static cling of the film against the Salisbury steak itself.

Once the plastic film is removed the dinner’s appeal doesn’t improve all that much.  Though I loved it as a kid, the image of these two “steaks” swimming in a pool of greasy gravy is kind of gross.  But damn if it didn’t smell good, like just coming home after a long trip.  So there is hope yet.

Now my friend decided to take the one at a time approach to tackling this dinner of hungry men, while I just dug in willy nilly.  There’s no right way to eat a Swanson Hungry Man dinner.  I’m glad to report that the dinner is exactly the same as I remember it tasting as a kid.  The meat is perfectly ground so that the consistency is meaty but not gritty or tough, and the gravy is heavenly if not very obviously greasy, though it is abundant which is a testimony to the Hungry Man branding.  There’s enough gravy to go around here folks, and pretty much every inch of this dinner could be covered if that’s what you wanted.

I didn’t let myself get too crazy with it, but I did make sure to spread it around on the potatoes which, though exactly as I remember them, were a little tasteless.  I’m a big fan of instant potatoes because of their alluring silky texture, but TV dinner potatoes have a lot of pitfalls that keep them from being good.  They are almost always overdone and then they sort of get gummy and crusty at the same time, which is both weird and disturbing.  I think frozen food scientists need to develop a solution that goes a little farther than cutting the plastic away from them before cooking.  How about a perforated plastic bubble that keeps enough moisture in while letting enough out so that they aren’t soupy?

I decided to be a good boy this time, and for once I ate my desert last.  When I was a kid that was always the first thing to go, mainly because Swanson’s used to have various cobblers in with their meals and they were best piping hot.  Since this variety now comes with a brownie I felt that I could hold off on my indulgence and save it for last.  You’ll also notice that I left most of my veggies uneaten.  This is another common trait I have while eating frozen dinners.  Typically I can’t stand most cooked veggies unless they are part of something like soup or a casserole and in particular I do not like my carrots cooked.  I tried to choke down most of the green beans, but there’s only so much a man can do, you know?  Surprisingly the brownie was pretty darn good.  It wasn’t overdone like most the frozen desserts tend to be and it was pretty brownie-like in consistency (as opposed to cake-like.)

All in all, the dinner was pretty darn good and every bit the comfort food I remember it to be, though to be honest it isn’t good food by any stretch of the imagination.  It was just as good as it was designed to be though and that’s good enough for me.  I was also surprised at how not full we were.  Both of us figured one Hungry Man would be quite enough to fill us.  Well after the first movie we watched we were sort of wishing we’d gone for seconds.  On the other hand the Hungry Man XXL variety scares the jebus out of us.  Those things have enough sodium and fat to last a week and they are just too indulgent.  Maybe they need to develop a Hungry Man XL that’s somewhere in between where you can truly feel full without upping your chance of heart disease by 300%…

Noid be Damned!

Three posts in one day!?! What the hell is the world coming to? Boredom at work, that’s what. I should probably pace myself with these articles and reviews, but what the heck, that’ll just make me work that much harder when I run out of stuff to wax nostalgic about right?

So last week for Movie Night, my friend Kevin and I decided to go hog wild crazy on some Domino’s Pizza. I personally didn’t grow up on the stuff, but Kevin did so we called ‘em up, ordered enough food to choke Galactus and went to town (you know to pick it up because we weren’t about to tip a delivery guy if we could easily pick it up ourselves right?)

First off, I don’t think I’ve ever picked up a delivery style pizza. There’s something very claustrophobic about those little storefronts where you just order and wait, and besides, you can see them making your pizza, and you really don’t want to see the people who’re making your pizza, trust me on this.

I suppose by picking up the pizza ourselves and not having it delivered right from the oven and carried to our doorstep in a thermally insulated bag we in fact didn’t “Avoid the Noid.? Of course since those commercials are about 20 years old, I guess there is no such thing as the Noid anymore, well except when Adam West isn’t beating him up. I mean I’m sure delivery pizza technology has progressed so far into the future that there is no such thing as … um … what the hell did the Noid represent again?

We ended up going with two large pizzas, one hand-tossed sausage and one thin crust pepperoni, and a butt-load of Cheesy bread and Cinna-Stix.

We also decided to jam on some Sunkist Orange soda in a can which was a childhood favorite of both of us. My parents never used to by anything other than Coke and Canada Dry ginger-ale so when ever I got soda elsewhere I always opted for fruity flavors. Sunkist has always been the orange soda of choice because it’s a lot creamier and not as tart as other brands.

Since I never really had Domino’s this was less about nostalgia and more about trying something relatively new. My first impressions were ‘eh. First off, the thin crust pepperoni was dusted with misc. Italian spices, which I’ve seen a lot and tends to point to one thing, that the crust and base of the pizza is so bland it needs cover. This was pretty much exactly the case. The hand-tossed sausage was better but a bit too much on the bread-y side for me. I like my crust thin-ish like NY style pizza, and anything else is just focasia bread with toppings.

Probably the best part of the meal was the Cheesy bread and Cinna-Stix. The Cheesy bread is exactly as stated and I would be hella surprised if Domino’s found a way to screw up bread with cheese melted on it. The Cinna-Stix were awesome though if I ate more than two I’d surely go into a sugar coma. Dear god they were sweet. Between the sugar cinnamon dusting and the super sweet frosting dipping sauce, I was about to die, but I managed to squeeze two sticks down.

I’ve noticed that in these recent years I can’t hold my pizza. There was a time when I could almost eat an entire pizza myself, but nowadays I’m surprised if I can get through three slices. I will say that it wasn’t horrible pizza. In fact it is exactly what it should be, lower end quality pizza at a reasonable price delivered (unless you’re cheapskates like us.)

Slimmy Slim Skintight Goodbody!

So will the wonders of forgotten nostalgia ever cease? I sure hope not. Every time I stumble upon something I have fond memories of from my childhood it’s like getting a central nervous system zap much like that of a defibrillator. One of the things I’ve really been digging on lately is out of print record blogs and in particular ones with a 70’s and 80’s childhood nostalgia bent. So far I’ve found a few: Check the Cool Wax, Bubblegum Fink, XYZ Cosmonaut, and now Way Out Junk.

Well while perusing Way Out Junk I came across something I hadn’t thought about in almost 20 years, Slim Goodbody. Holy heck on a cross. I had an immediate ecstatic yet slightly repulsive reaction as I recalled the many times I saw this skinny dude dancing around in his skintight “body? suit with all the exposed organs, bones, muscles, and veins. It was the veins that always got to me. Something about all those red and blue lines running down the guy’s arms and chest that always made me feel like I was just on the brink of dying.

I don’t remember where I first saw Mr. Goodbody, but a quick scan of his Wiki entry confirms that it was probably on Nickelodeon. You know, between Senior Goodbody prancing around singing about your organs, and Timer doing the two shuffle tap to eating a hunka, a slab, a slice, a chunka cheese, god knows why I am so food and health woozy.

So take a gander over at Way Out Junk and give Mr. Goodbody’s album a listen, and you may just puke from disgust, or reel in a cosmic state of nostalgia happiness. And if this dude is completely up your naked exposed body alley, check out his official site where you can buy many overpriced videos and DVD’s on the human insides, and possibly even a memoir on wearing them on the outside. While Dancing for kids. On public TV. And getting paid for it. Crazy.

Frozen Drinks, Part 7!

Okay, so now we’re sort of getting to the end of the first year of Frozen Drinks 101. I’ve searched near and far for everything that even possibly resembles a Slurpee in the north Georgia area (which is why I won’t be covering the various milkshakes and Wendy’s Frosty-like drinks since these are not Slurpee like at all.) We’re entering the home stretch and there are only a few articles left.

Today brings us to a very odd entry in this slush/Slurpee debacle. I’m not sure exactly what this concoction is called outside of the individual flavor names, but for sake of ease I’m going to call it the Frozen Misc. Float. I’ve only ever seen this machine at one place, this tiny generically named Food Mart that is part of a small shopping center and isn’t connected to a gas station though that is basically what this is, the generic gas station food mart.

Before I get into the drink, I’d like to talk a little more about this mart. About a year ago, when I first started putting together the list of movies and candies my friend Kevin and I would be enjoying for our current Movie Night, I hit a stumbling block on a bunch of candies. See for some reason no stores, no grocery stores, specialty candy stores, mega Wal-Marts or Targets, or any gas stations for a 30 mile radius seemed to carry candy items that I knew were still being made. I had the hardest time finding Chunky Bars, Fruit Stripe Gum, and any Bubblicious, Hubba Bubba, or Bubble Yum gums that were anything other than Cotton Candy or Sour whatever flavor. Then one day on a whim I decided to check the odd little Food Mart, and low and behold, as I opened the door I knew I had found the Shangri-La of weird food stuff. Not only did they have everything I wanted on my candy list, but they also had Pepperoni Pizza flavored Combos with the cracker crust (very rare in Georgia), a weird new frozen drink, and a porn rack. No gas stations or related food marts in Georgia have porn anymore. I can think of like two. That was such a staple of my youth (not buying mind you, but just ogling the tops of the covers which were mostly hidden from view on the top shelf) and yet porn is nowhere to be found anymore.

Alas, back to the frozen drink at hand. Basically like I said above this is a Float related machine that has two flavors (one of which that apparently rotates.) When I first stumbled upon the machine it was IBC Root Beer Float and Crush Orange Dream flavors. Soon after the root beer flavor was replaced by another Crush Flavor, Strawberries ‘n’ Cream.

The first thing that sort of confounded me was the various brandings on the cups. As you can see in the below picture, there is a Slush Puppie logo, and since the drink has a very SP like consistency, I figured maybe it was just a major label of carbonated flavored Slush Puppies or something. The cups though, have like four other brandings on them that I’ve never heard of, and none of them are IBC or Crush, which leads me to believe that the cups may not match the drink machine. I mean this is a generic Food Mart and I wouldn’t put it past them to just use whatever cup stock they found lying in the back alley after closing.

I had previously tried the Root Beer flavor and since it wasn’t available I decided to go with the Orange Dream flavor for this review. Though I am hard pressed to say any frozen drink is the worst frozen drink ever, I think these would be a good contender, right up there with the Popeye’s Chillers. Basically, like I said, these have the same consistency as a Slush Puppie though they are carbonated and are very creamy. I guess it’s supposed to taste like a melted Orange Cream pop, but at the end of the day it just tastes like a bunch of orange flavored children’s aspirin crushed up and mixed with milk and ice and that’s pretty darn gross. I don’t know what it is about frozen drinks and their medicinal taste. Maybe the taste scientists are Nyquil addicts or something.

I’m almost afraid to try the Strawberries ‘n’ Cream flavor, and at this point might just give these up as they haven’t been good yet. The Root Beer was alright, but amazingly watered down and at the end of the day I’m just not a big fan of the “hardly and ice” slush. Once again the below photo is misleading as all the ice has gathered at the top.

Join me next time when I tackle other milk related Frozen Drinks from the BK Frozen Float to the Sonic Cream Slush.

Frozen Drinks 101, Part 6!

I’ve been doing the positive thing for a couple of these Frozen Drink Reviews, so now it’s time to head back to negative land with one of the worst slush concoctions known to man, the Popeye’s Slush, which is part of their new Cajun Chillers variety of frozen drinks.

Now one of my main complaints with slush drinks is that you tend to suck out all of the syrup/liquid really quickly and then are left with a heaping lump of useless ice. Well on this front, the Popeye’s slush is the on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. There is hardly any ice in the damn things, though the below picture would make you think otherwise.

Basically there is about one fourth of a cup of ice in the drink and it’s apparently much lighter than the syrup because it all floats on top of the drink. When drinking it all you get is syrup and let me tell you it isn’t good. It’s really thick in consistency and tastes kinda chemically like almost gasoline-y. The after taste is god-awful and very lasting.

To top this off, the syrups don’t taste all that different between the flavor varieties. There’s a cherry, a strawberry, and fruit punch, and a hurricane punch (which is blue) and they all pretty much taste the same. When these were first offered they had a Lime slush that was awesome as far as flavor goes, but it was still the same thick consistency with little to no ice. I haven’t been able to finish one of these off yet and I think its time to stop trying, the one for this review being the last one I will purchase.

Frozen Drinks 101, Part 5!

So let’s bust through some more Frozen Drink goodness on this the most stress-less day of the week. Today I’m going to take a look at the Sonic Slush from the 50’s styled fast food chain. We first got Sonics a couple few years ago after the boom of another 50’s styled chain of fast food places, Checkers. Whereas Checkers has the corner on the market of seriously cheap burgers and hot dogs (almost in a scary way), Sonic has a different approach, a seriously cheap and amazingly diverse drink selection.

Though they are known for their various Lime-Aids, it’s their slushes that I was interested in since I’m a frozen drink fanatic. What stuck me first is their selection. You can get a slush in like a gazillion flavors including cherry, orange, grape, green apple, watermelon, blue coconut (called Ocean Water for some weird reason), apple juice, cranberry juice, fresh lime, fresh strawberry, fresh lemon, and fresh lemon-strawberry. I’ve also heard rumors of a fabled vanilla slush. Well it’s not really fabled; I mean they offer vanilla as an add-in, in any drink though I’m not sure which base flavor other than coconut it would go good with.

Now being a slush it’s definitely in the Slush Puppie camp of frozen drinks and no where near a Slurpee or Icee, and even though I’m not a huge fan of the Slush Puppie, I am of the Sonic Slush. The reason is that where the Slush Puppie has huge ice crystals that are easy to suck the syrup off of, the Sonic slush has smaller ice crystals and therefore it stays more in solution. You can pretty much enjoy a good three quarters of the drink without it turning into a giant useless lump of ice.

Also, all the flavors are good. Seriously. This is an oddity in the frozen drink world. The cherry tastes like cherry candy not cough syrup. The orange is sufficiently orange-y without being too tart (think basic orange drink not soda.) The fresh slushes are awesome being made with real fruit as opposed to a chemically derived syrup, so the lemon is like homemade lemonade and the strawberries are awesomely strawberry-y and not just a bubble gum derivative.

Now being the option laden chain that they are, Sonic just compounds the possibilities by adding soft serve vanilla ice cream as yet another flavor option in the form of the Cream Slush. Basically you take any slush you love and have soft serve blended in to make a creamy dreamy concoction that is unmatched in the world of frozen beverages. It’s not like a milkshake or any of the various “Orange Cream�? flavored drinks out there. It’s like a cream-sicle (you know the pop-sicle with the vanilla ice cream in the middle) whipped into a drinkable drink. For however bad my grammar is, don’t let that get in the way of knowing just how good these things are.

Here are the previous entries in Frozen Drinks 101:

The Slush Puppie

The Burger King Frozen Coke

The Quik Trip Freezoni

The Race Trac Frozen Drink