Fagabeefe!


By Shawn Robare

By the way the title of this entry is a quote from the below movie, not a knock on homosexual cows or anything.  I mean I’m all for bull/bull or cow/cow marriages and everything, though I’m four square against cow/human relationships because there are too many mancows in the world as it is.  Yup, call me an interspecies racist, screw the tangelos, and koala-monkeys, down with hipporaffes and manickens.

So last night’s movie night was a blast.  We started the evening off by eating a crap load of cheesy 80′s snack food.  And I mean cheesy, Handi-Snacks (both regular for nostalgia, and the Mr. Salty Pretzel version for Mr. Salty nostalgia), Babybel cheese, string cheese, easy cheese and townhouse crackers, and then some fruity and meaty stuff to round things out (Fruit Rollups, Shark Bites, and Slim Jims.) 

So after our blood pressure rose from the mass amounts of salt we ingested, we sat down and watched Midnight Madness starring David Naughton (American Werewolf in London), Stephen Furst (Animal House), Eddie Deezen (default nerd in most 80′s media) and a young Michael J. Fox.  This film transends bad made-for-TV-80′s-teen-comedy and becomes something very wacky and very fun to watch, though it’s not strong enough to be a classic.

Basic plot?  Genius college student Leon (top row center) has devised the ultimate gaming experience (he’s probably a frustrated GM in a D&D group.)  He invites five people (who need to recruit a team) to play the great “All Nighter”.  The game is basically a scavenger hunt for clues around Los Angeles that lead to a final destination.  The first group there wins.  Hilarity ensues and the movie just becomes one insane madcap romp moment after the next.

What holds it back from being a classic is that it’s just not quite spot on in terms of how the teams solve the clues and who advances fastest, etc.  There is a team of jocks that are solving clues (off camera) that there is no way they could figure out while a bunch of smart spazy nerds are always lagging in fourth place.

Among the highlights of the film are Betsy Lynn & Carol Gwynn Thompson (pictured above), a pair of overweight girls that have the most amazing (yet almost annoying) giggle ever.  Just watching them bounce around inthe back of a picup truck, driving scooter bikes, and dancing up a storm at a roller disco are worth the price of admission alone.  On top of this you get Michael J. Fox’s screen debut as a bratty teen who’s always doing someting bad to get his brother’s attention.  There’s also a small cameo from Pee Wee Herman in full pee wee make-up dressed in a cowboy outfit.  Oh and did I mention Candy?  Sorry couldn’t find a picture of Candy, but let me just say that the ‘C’ and ‘L’ in the word ‘control’ on her shirt were hiding on both sides if you know what I mean. 

I have to say this was a pretty fun movie night, though I’m going to pay hell for all that cheese I ate.  Every squirted easy cheese on a stick of string cheese?  I have.