Green Apple Gummi + Chocolate = Hell


By Shawn Robare

So today’s Halloween blog entry is all about candy. See I don’t really have a sweet tooth, I’m more of a salty/crunchy kind of guy, but around this time of year I get unnatural cravings for all things tooth decay and I pick up one mega bag of candy. When I do lean towards candy, I typically stay in the fruity, gummi, hard candy family, though I’ve been developing quite the taste for seriously dark chocolate (the woman went nuts when out local farmer’s market closed and put all their merchandise at 50% off, she bought like $25 worth of dark chocolate.) Every once in awhile though, I do like the smooth, creamy, oh-so-chocolate-y delights that the season has to offer, so this year I opted for a mixed bag of all of the above.


I thought this would solve all my candy issues and seeing as there are 80 pieces it’ll probably set me till Christmas. I was pretty excited to find this particular mix because of all the fruity candy, Twizzlers and Jolly Ranchers are my favorite, and if I had to pick only on chocolate item to eat for the rest of my life it would probably be Take 5’s. Now I know it’s not regular Jolly Ranchers, but I’m all up for trying something new.


I broke open the bag in a fit of excitement at work and was immediately taken aback by the powerful waft of candy air that soon filled my entire mailroom. Pretty strong stuff. Not that great of a smell either. I was beginning to wonder if my perfect mix was anything but, so I unwrapped my first piece, a Kit Kat and took a cautionary bite. Capitol G-ross. Apparently all the gummi/fruity flavor had seeped into all of the chocolate in the bag. I even tested the Take 5’s that are sealed a little more air-tightly. Nope, even they were a noxious mixture of cherry & green apple Twizzler Pull-n-Peel. Ugh. $7.50 down the tube. Well not quite, the gummi portion of the bag is fine, though the green apple pull-n-peel’s are made of stuff from underneath the devil’s couch (I still can’t get that noxious aftertaste out of my mouth.) Well at least the Jolly Ranchers are good. What’s the moral of the story? Stick with individual bags, or at least segregated mixtures, it’s just safer that way.