Man, that peach blush toilet paper realy ties the bathroom together…


By Shawn Robare

One of the weirder areas of nostalgia for me lies within the realm of the not-so-exciting household products that either my mom would buy or that I’d see while grocery shopping with her as a kid.  Sometimes I get the same sort of longing pangs for a Fresh’n Up room deodorizer (the kind that came in a rectangular cylinder where you’d lift the outer casing to expose the room-freshening power contained within) that I do for some of my long lost G.I. Joe and Transformers toys.  That’s one of the beautiful things about flipping through 30 year-old issues of Woman’s Day and McCalls, getting a chance to see some of these mundane extinct products that I never in a million years would have guessed had such an impact on my youthful self.

In the category of obscure and unfortunate household style degradation comes today’s advertisement for the line of colored Cottonelle toilet paper, circa 1982…

Seriously, in this age of ever increasing and exciting technologies, why is it so apparent that the toilet paper industry is practically falling apart at the perforated seams?  When the key advancements surround thickening the sheets to an extent where we’re practically rubbing our nether-regions with small pillows, and the best the industry’s advertising has to offer aesthetically speaking is a bunch of multicolored bears with dingle-berry issues, we know we’re in trouble.  What happened to the days when companies were so secure in the age-old technology that they began to shift their focus to enhancing the color scheme of the paper to make for a better looking lavatorial environment?  Long story short, where are my mint green rolls of toilet paper?  Why has this advancement been stripped from store shelves?

At the end of the day I just want a toilet paper option that’ll really (design-wise) tie the room together.  Is that so much to ask?  In the immortal words of Weird Al, “You better squeeze all the Charmin you can…”, because one day Mr. Whipple and Charmin might not be around…

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    kaduck – Yeah, I think scented crosses the line of too-many-TP-enhancements. Also, yegads, who needs to smell it? Wipe, drop, be done. ;) narvolicious – I’m betting that’s what time travel sounds like, only with some light weeping in the background as well…

  • http://www.leftylimbo.com/ narvolicious

    LoL, I remember that baby blue tissue paper. All gone…(sound of desolate wind blowing, tumbleweed bounces by; dog barks in distance)

  • Kaduck

    I remember colored TP too. They also had scented TP. There was some kind of to-do about the scented kind causing infections in bad places, but I was young so I don’t know if it was a lie my aunts told or if it was true.

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Eliza – Oh man, I didn’t even consider mixing the colors. See there’s a whole world of aesthetic goodness that can be achieved with a little pastel TP! Jephso – And thus closes the idea that colored tp is just for the walker and motorized-Rascal crowd. Cottonelle needs to add Punk Pink!

  • http://jephso.blogspot.com/ Jephso
  • http://elizafrye.com/ Eliza

    My dad used to make awesome colored toilet paper sculptures on the back of his toilet. It really changed my idea about how a bathroom can look.

  • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

    Belle – Yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting (that colored tp is a very grandparent kind of product.) I have an image in my head of a crazy interior designer running around a house he’s working on screaming that he just can’t work with that white toilet paper…

  • https://www.doowackadoodles.blogspot.com Belle Dee

    I remember colored toilet paper. My grandparents had it at their house when I was a kid. There also used to be colored facial tissue. Like I remember having blue tissue. I don’t think they make that anymore either.

  • econobiker

    The colored tp usually had corresponding color facial tissue to match the bathroom color. The wikipedia place says that Scott discontinued colored tp in 2004. I know that it was around in the mid 1980s to early 1990s when I worked at grocery stores. The colors were even available in the store brand paper…

    • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

      Yeah, I remember it up to the late 90s when I worked the stock crew at a local grocery store.

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  • Soleass

    Those colored toilet paper rolls still exist, though they’re more vibrant, less pastel today. See http://www.blacktoiletpaper.org/red-toilet-paper-colored-tissue-rolls/

    • http://www.brandedinthe80s.com/ Shawn Robare

      Wow, I can neon pink TP. It’s interesting that it’s become a niche market item…