Is that Kraft Mac and Cheese under that pepperoni, or do you just want to die for dinner?

By Shawn Robare

It’s been awhile since I dipped into my collection of old advertisements I clipped from my collection of 80s era Woman’s Day magazines, so I thought it would be fun to take a look at one of the crazier ads from 1983.  Alright, raise your hand if you’ve been to a Ci-Ci’s or Stevie-B’s pizza buffet.  C’mon, I know we’ve all tried it at least once, I mean quality aside, it’s the best damn pizza value in town.  Seriously though, for anyone who has eaten at one of these pizza buffets in the last 20 years you’ve probably noticed that they have all sorts of weird pizzas to please kids and parents alike.  Whether it’s the taco pizza (replacing the sauce with salsa and adding lettuce and sour cream as toppings) or the baked potato (sour cream sauce, topped with cheddar cheese and slices of baked potato), there’s usually some funky stuff to keep it interesting and as unhealthy as possible.  The craziest buffet pizza in my opinion is the Mac ‘n Cheese pizza which has a cheese-based sauce, pasta, and loads of extra cheese to boot.  Not only is it a little slice of heart-attack, but there’s enough carbohydrates in one slice to make the pickiest vegan into a diabetic.

Well, while flipping through a 1983 issue of Woman’s Day I found an ad that puts the Stevie-B’s pasta pizza to shame. How about a pizza where the crust is entirely made out of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese!?!

That’s right, who needs working arteries when you can taste the awe-inspiring scrumptiousness that must be a slice of pizza made entirely out of Mac ‘n Cheese!  I’m so tempted to make this monstrosity, but I’m not sure my mouth can withstand the insanity.  What were the ad reps at Kraft thinking when they came up with this idea?  I can only assume these are the same geniuses that convinced KFC that fried chicken would made an awesome substitute for bread in a sandwich.

So has anyone out there ever experienced this gastronomical indulgence?

  • OMG, I just realized that Road Warrior mohawk guy and Bennett of Commando were played by the same actor. Oh yeah, he also made an appearance in Weird Science. ;)

  • Violet Sverine – Yeah, it’s a trip flipping through old issues of Woman’s Day and McCalls just to ogle all the food ads. I think this pasta pizza is going to be made in our household soon, and I know I’ll regret it after the first slice, but it has to be made!

  • Sadly I would eat that. I am a sucker for terrible food concoctions such as that cheesey mac pizza. ;) I also love retro food ads with the poor lighting and bad color palette. Makes it looks all the more delicious!

  • Bob – Thanks for pointing to that, I had no idea these were in the freezer aisle. Jeez, this concept has made it’s way to store shelves, that means places like CiCi’s will have to step up their game. What’s next? I’m staking my money on a pizza with a flattened out, fried chicken breast instead of a crust. Wait, it’ll happen…

  • Bob
  • Finky – Good eye! Yup, I remember watching a special on food photography back in the 80s on HBO. It was part of a series of informational documentaries aimed at kids to get them to not believe the hype of commercials and toy packaging and junk. The thought of sitting there, posing food for hours, using Elmer’s glue to replace real milk in cereal shoots, and all that stuff does sounds like a tedious hell of a job. All for an advertisement too. At the same time I’m wondering if it pays well… You’ll have to let me know how it turns out!

  • Finky099

    Horrendously delicious. I’m going to try that with some veggie dogs next time I have to make dinner at home. Is it just me (or coincidence?), or do all those macaroni noodles at the bottom of that “slice” seem suspiciously placed in the same direction (hole facing out)? I know alot of tedious work goes into these kinds of things to make every detail look “just right”, but it makes me feel kind of sympathetic to the guy who cad to line up all those eggy, cheesey noodles in the bottom of that pan just to pull off this photo.

  • Slick – It’s funny, I ate at Ci-Ci’s so many times in college and when I was first on my own. My friends and I had a bunch of rules, like don’t eat the crusts, bread sticks, and salads because they’re just filler getting in the way of more pizza value. I have to say that I also ate my fair share of Ramen, but I was never so adventurous. I’m going to have to track down that cookbook…

  • Mrs. McFavorite and I love CiCi’s Mac and Cheese pizza. Of course we’ve had better, but again it’s all about the value. I’ve made something similar to this with Ramen. I was Ramen fanatic in college and my mom bought me a Ramen cookbook. Tried it a couple of times. Not as horrific as it sounds, but definitely nothing the adult me would eat.

  • Pax – Cool! I’m going to need to see photographic proof of this mammoth undertaking…

  • I emailed this to my wife and told her we are trying it. If anyone can make it and make it GOOD, it’s my wife. If I actually pull this off and get her to make it, I’ll be sure to post about it.

  • Micki – Yeah, this is the kind of American food that makes the rest of the world look at us and go “WTF?”

  • that’s… just… like… a culinary nightmare from hell to look at! :D

  • Paxton – When I was looking back over this ad all I could think about was the Dude Foods episode of the Nerd Lunch podcast…

  • Tim – You know, I’m so tempted to do this. I was able to get my wife to take a bite of a Twinkie Wiener Dog, so this should be easier for her to stomach.

  • I’m embarrassed to admit I tried making this about ten years ago. Not this exact thing but something basically identical in a cookbook I had. It was called “pasta pizza.” The girl I was dating at the time (now my wife) still makes fun if it to this day.

  • That is the greatest idea I’ve ever seen. Slap some bacon on it and I would have sex with that pizza.